tales of the pink princess

yearend reflections

2011-12-31T12:56:00.000-08:00

funny how December 31 easily turns up to be a deadline to everyone who keeps an online diary. it seems that we are "required to pass" a yearender - sort of the year that was in a nutshell.

needless to say, it is quite the tradition not only to bloggers but also to all those who put value in looking back and use every experience that he has to make a better version of himself.

2011 for me is, for lack of a more appropriate term, a rollercoaster ride. you know me well enough if you've been a witness of how I braved the roads of uncertainty, how I cried in the beginning, laughed from time to time, learned along the way, and shrugged them all off eventually. as this year comes to a close, I can definitely say that, to use the overused, "I am a stronger person."

it is very important to me that I am a part in the huge process of transforming people's lives. aside from my pupils, i'd like to believe that i've been a part of how people viewed things in a lighter note just because I tried to present their seemingly depressing situation differently. in more ways than one, talking people out of their larger-than-life problems has been therapeutic to me since i started doing it.

it is a shame that only after 22 years have I learned to really loathe being immature. one of the most important things that i learned this year is to actually stop being materialistic. this year introduced me to so many people who have undergone such very depressing plights in their lives that being materialistic would put me in such a great shame. this time, i finally learned to shake my head whenever i ask myself, "do you really need this?"

this was also the year that i leveled up in valuing relationships in my life. of course it's always easy to say that we value people and our relationship with them, but how many times have we lived up to that? i really make it a point to show everyone that i love that i'd choose them in a heartbeat given the chance. but if not, i turn to God and make Him speak in the difficult circumstance.

the most important lesson that this year taught me is to learn how to pray all the time. prayer wasn't defined as only a "please help me" from the very beginning. prayer is a conversation with God. if we cannot get a day done without conversing with our most favorite person in the world, remember that we cannot also get a day done without God's guidance. so it is just proper that we honor Him by talking to Him all the time - whether we are in the midst of drowning in stress, or in the midst of swimming in His blessings.

2011 brought me closer to God. it made me realize all the more that God is the most important part of my life. things got clearer when i started living out that belief. I really felt how God directed me when i felt most lost, and how God ushered me out of the most stressful days of this year. from deep within my heart, I thank You, God...

...for I believe You never left me, and You never will.

the sound of silence

2011-12-25T00:13:00.000-08:00

it's always been quite the normal morning for me when I get up the earliest here in the desert. I feel really awkward whenever somebody else in the family's up before I am. I always enjoy the serenity of having to get up with the house almost all by myself, devoid of any hints of noise for that matter (except that annoying sound that the water heater makes, hinting us that it's already growing old).

it feels so surreal having to type my first blog using my new gadget. for those who know me well enough, you know that i'm not the type of person who would go after newly released gadget. i would only cry for it once it's badly needed. I think I found the time to say goodbye to transporting my big and heavy laptop to and fro Dasmarinas and General Trias. It's very inconvenient that I have to squeeze myself in a jampacked jeepney with a something as important and as heavy as my laptop. Of course I would have to keep it safe in our house in Dasma. I'm not going to discard it given that it's a graduation gift from my parents.

(let me just say this: I MISSED WRITING!)

What Saudi Arabia really allows me to have is this me-time: the time when I just literally stare at the television set with nothing important to do in mind, I can do things on impulse, and I can spend my time writing with keypads or with pens. The luxury of time to "waste" sitting and thinking and writing is something that I cannot really enjoy given the amount of work that I have in the Philippines. Take good note that this is not written in the tone of complaining. As a matter of fact, I get really thankful whenever I enjoy such a time as this.

Christmas is time to celebrate the coming of Jesus Christ. I've known that since I was in elementary, but I'll be really straightforward about this: I think it took me 22 years to understand what that meant. (Notice the absence of the word "fully" before the word "understand." I'd like to think that a person cannot "fully" understand something, as we always claim it. "Full" understanding is, I believe, attributed to God alone.)

Seriously, it doesn't matter to me anymore if there weren't any material presents this Christmas. Being with my family is more than enough gift for me. Being given the chance to transform lives as a teacher is more than enough gift for me. I could go on and on, but I know you already get the point. I have come to a point in my life this year that all I could do was just cry before I sleep for utter hopelessness and desolation, but lo and behold, I am standing here, able to thank my Creator for not letting me fall. I realized, as I always do at the end of every triumph or trial, that it's just a matter of faith.

We celebrate during Christmas time. We dance, sing, shout, and party. There's nothing wrong with it as tradition says this is the way we celebrate. Nonetheless, it pays off to spend a more quiet and serene Christmas. I would say this is the perfect time to reflect, thank God, feel His presence... for it is in silence that we detach ourselves from the world and commune with God in thought.

In the quietness of our hearts, let us say this little prayer:
Thank you God for sending your son... May You help us understand what this really means.

isn't it a little delusional

2011-11-30T22:13:00.000-08:00

to dream of writing your own book and just sit around lazily for the last two months with no blog entries to at least stretch your sleeping creativity?

and here i am jotting randomly (if it wasn't that stressed enough), writing just to soothe myself, typing words "to compensate," and on and on my excuses go.

yet i really don't believe in "compensating" for lost time. what's lost is already gone, no matter how hard i try to repress the idea. and as the end of the year is approaching, most of what happened this year will also have to go with it... or most probably not.

i made a lot of huge decisions as far as this year is concerned, and believe it or not, when i ask myself if i did the right thing, i couldn't even come close to a decent answer. i don't want to get used to the idea that i'm just letting the clock tick without arriving at anything. in most days it's hard to accept but it's exactly what i'm doing.

to further strengthen the randomness of ideas herewith, i'd like to share that i started going to school again, taking the baby steps to my huge dream spelled as Master's Degree. i spent a few hours this morning rewriting my notes to achieve organization.

to end this blab in a slightly directed view, i hope everyone in the Philippines is enjoying the holiday.

(and i hope to write a more sensible blog before the day ends. ciao!)

the secret spice

2011-10-04T16:45:00.000-07:00

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

Matthew 19:14

the passion that drives me to be excellent in front of the class everyday despite lack of sleep, stress, and homesickness is...

...the steadfast belief that God sent me here on earth to spread His love through teaching different subjects inside the classroom.

HAPPY WORLD TEACHER'S DAY!

standpoint

2011-09-18T04:17:00.000-07:00

it feels so dry to not have written something really sensible for almost two weeks now. the writer in me already seemed like a thick slimy green monster that screamed so hard when it realized that even his best efforts could not afford him to get out of the thicker black bars of prison.

and yes, even the words written above would not give justice to the feeling of not having to write anything. writing has always been my form of therapy. without it, i still feel a truckload of burden even if i already have diffused all my remaining energy just so all i want to release will come out.

ironically, when i already get this chance to write... everything seems so elusive. trite as it may sound, i really do not know where to begin. i guess this is the effect of having to suppress all my emotions and thoughts day after day without the words having to form into coherent paragraphs thereby helping me to knit the loose ends of my dear life...

like a normal, breathing grown-up (after all this time, i still would like to consider myself one), there are huge decisions that i have to make so that my life will continue to head in the right direction. oftentimes, i do find myself about to stumble - that I'd want nothing more than to stop, give up, surrender and go back. but then again, I ask myself, "Who's going to suffer defeat in the end?"

but if we're going to talk about stopping before God, giving up everything we have, surrendering our lives to Him, and going back to the words that he left to edify humankind... I believe that we are talking about acts of courage rather than cowardice... that we are doing acts that we need not think about... that we are treading no other than the path to victory.

i am not that young anymore to not see that another problem does come out minutes after I thought I already solved one. this life really never seems to run out of problems to solve. but in the vastness of this world, and in the midst of realizing that i am not the only person who encounters problems day by day, really... who am I to complain?

whenever I think of somebody who will never leave me nor forsake me...

whenever I think of somebody who is all-powerful who loves me beyond my imperfections...

whenever I think of somebody who embraces me when I feel so down, alone, and problematic...

I cry of utmost reverence, knowing that however minuscule the world may think of me,

there is always a GOD who treats me like a royalty.

and then i tell myself, nothing should ever put me down.

my faith is enough for me to conquer.

making a difference

2011-09-10T17:14:00.000-07:00

i almost forgot that i already went through an experience as soul-transforming as Adopt-a-Day Care project. thanks to the world wide web, that i was able to at least patch this hole in my experience quilt.

once upon a time in college, I, together with my org mates in Buklod-UPLB, went to a day care located in Magnetic Hill in Los Banos, Laguna. we spent a few hours to play, sing, and laugh with the children who study there.

this is the place where they conduct classes.

it was not pity that i felt when we stepped there. i felt more of admiration and hopefulness, being that their condition did not hamper them from pursuing learning. i admire the teachers most especially, who, despite their meager salary, ceaselessly cared for the future of the children.

who would believe that i will be a teacher a few months or so after these photos were taken?

it feels really great to contribute even a little of yourself to children who are strangers to you. it feels even greater to do it when there are people around who will be willing to work with you.

seeing these photos once more made me realize that yes, i am indeed in the right profession.

photos courtesy of Kix Javier's Multiply Account

pre-night coffee thoughts

2011-08-30T17:00:00.000-07:00

with the long weekend almost over, i can feel myself slowly shifting back to what used to be. the long sleeps anytime of the day, the trip to Manila to ironically have a feel of a vacation, and most importantly, the me-time that i spent so much, made me already forget how it feels to be really busy.

i've been productive over the weekend. i have finished so much so far, considering the fact that i should have spent the weekend away from all the work. i daresay i've grown so much from the first day of class, that i've somehow learned to be more efficient, to avoid stress as much as possible, and to stay positive despite deadlines and pressures.

i am writing this because i want to share something that popped out in my head while i was doing my lesson plan just a while ago: find joy in everything that you do. i believe i've encountered or read it somewhere before, i just couldn't figure it out at the moment. but one thing's for sure: i am learning to apply this in my otherwise worn-out days. i can be really grumpy or moody when stress greets me hello, but i realized that time is too short for me to spend it with eyebrows always creased. one, it doesn't help me get finished therefore causing more delays; two, i am infecting the world with a disease called let's-tell-the-world-to-stop-smiling.

needless to say, it pays to find something good in everyone. i have a print out of a quotation that says something like that in my bedroom in Saudi, to be a constant reminder that no matter how really bad a person can get, co-worker or student alike, he or she has a good seed inside his or her heart that you should help nurture. and if you really believe that this person has no good seed inside his heart, then it's your task to plant it! as one inspiring text message reads, God sent us to be a blessing to others.

it's Wednesday tomorrow but it will be our first day back to work here in the Philippines, so have a blessed week ahead everyone!

Hugs and Kisses,

Teacher Ria

the "mega" reunion

2011-08-30T16:55:00.000-07:00

when you have special people in your life you've last seen years ago (and counting), you can't help but reminisce good old memories: thanks to trusty digital cameras and faithful laptop storage memories and you get to see pictures such as these....

the Arana kids (from left to right): Ryan, Apple, Fraulynn, Ria, Kenneth, and Floyd

...that makes your heart broken in two, the other half smiling with the pictures, the other half wishing against wishes that the pictures will come to life (just like those in the Harry Potter movies)

however, because of technology and easier transportation (not to mention a long weekend that permitted an early salary), there is certainly a more concrete way of finishing off all the nostalgia and homesickness! talk about initiating a meet up!

and on the morning itself, you just can't hide the excitement, you feel like getting online every minute of the morning since you woke up, just to report whatever it is you're doing and/or feeling so you WON'T explode.

and after minutes of trouble of waiting in the WRONG bus stop and getting really wet in the sudden rain, we were together!

Siomai time at SM Mega A foodcourt

believe it or not, cousin Apple and I literally ran to each other! yes, just like what you see on television shows and movies. we were really unmindful of the people watching. so what? at least they get to see spice in their otherwise routine lives. *wink*

both Ryan and I reacted to how grown up Fraulynn is. she doesn't look like a baby anymore! oh i remember how she sings "If We Hold On Together" in the videoke before.

we had lunch in Yellow Cab when Ryan arrived. we had a lot of stories to tell, and even more stories and made-up stories to laugh about :))

we obviously took every opportunity to take pictures, maybe to make up for the two years' worth of albums that we could have filled.

we watched Cars 2 after eating and had more laughs right there. it feels really good to be kids again with people you've spent your childhood with.

there could never be a more genuine smile than the one coming from the heart!

(no matter if a kid tries to ruin the mood of the photo)

we wished Floyd and Kenneth were here too, but because of unbelievable Sunday-for-schooldays and unspeakable distance, we'll settle with these special moments for now... they're still very much worth sharing anyway.

believe it or not, we were laughing so hard before the photo below was taken.

inside joke :))

what better way to spend one of your free days than with the people closest to you?

whatever circumstances you are in, dear reader,

choose to be happy.

***

forgive if i really have to insert this picture! if you know me well enough, Forever 21's my favorite store in Saudi Arabia! if i'm not mistaken, its branch in Mega is the first in the Philippines. i just can't resist the photo op :)

enjoy the last leg of the long weekend!

the fifteen-minute blog

2011-08-28T18:00:00.001-07:00

i hope everybody in the Philippines is enjoying the long weekend so far, albeit it will only last less than two days as of writing. *clock ticks*

i realized since i was on leave weeks ago, that all busy souls need ample amount of rest. no matter if it's a coffee break, a short read, or a quick nap - the only goal is for people to shift gears rather than push themselves to drive aimlessly, leading to total wreck.

i've experienced being a major wreck sometime in my life, with no proper time for meals and no definite time for sleep. and all those times i thought i was doing the right thing, only to find out that i was slowly destroying the remaining cells in my body.

and then i open my eyes in the morning wanting nothing more than to exchange places with somebody else who has the luxury of time to rest, and wanting even more for the day to end so that i could rest again.

but i find myself in the middle of the day, drowned with the towering heights of work... that will make me stop and think that no, rest is not the one i need, but more time...

i also came to a point in my life that i considered eating and sleeping as wastes of time. they weren't my priorities anymore. i advanced myself towards what i thought to be the peak, but slowly, i found my body failing, my creative juices askew, my direction uncertain, and my then-functional body slowly shutting down...

the day that changed the course of my otherwise routinary life was the day i decided i wanted to rest. that decision was a beginning of an otherwise blossoming fountain of ideas and nonstop days of creativity and productivity.

the irony of life... our time to rest is the beginning of the time that we become more productive.

do not take it literally though *wink*

why i love my housemates

2011-08-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

this will be a picture-heavy post, all because i believe that they are more than enough to tell the story! :)

to aiza, jecka, and abi, thank you very much!

with people of so much worth

2011-08-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

this post is dedicated to Nina

***

when i taught my Kindergarten pupils who composes a family, i made them repeat and define the words father, mother, brother, and sister until they can differentiate who is who. their young minds can only grasp the definition of family as that simple, and can only extend up to grandfather, grandmother, aunt, uncle, and cousins.

i'll leave it to experience for them to comprehend sooner or later that the word family isn't bounded by blood relations nor house walls.

***

last thursday, i was invited to come over Tito Sonny and Tita Naty's house in Dammam for a get together. our families became more than acquaintances during several encounters and special events last school year.

in this particular night, their friends were also present, so it was added fun!

look at the food! i get hungry in a snap every time i see the photos of the food that night.

***

photo op before we prayed for dinner. don't be deceived, it's not Nina's birthday anymore. her parents are just too sweet not to remove the happy birthday banner on the wall :)

***

meet Ate Joyze and her son, Zeth. Ate Joyze and I have known each other through, guess what? Facebook! since we clicked the accept tab of our friend requests, we treated each other just like sisters - sharing experiences and giving advices as if we already have met. believe me, after so many plans of meeting up in the Philippines last summer, we finally met here in Saudi Arabia! talk about literally going the extra mile for a friend :)

***

Tita Naty, Nina's mom, cooks the best pancit I have ever tasted! my dad even said before that her cooking would pass as a restaurant menu. i really admire not just her cooking, but her being a mother to her children. i am a witness of how she never got tired of supporting her unica hija, through - for lack of a better term - thick and thin. she's also one of the coolest moms in the world, and one of the best surprise partners i ever had. *wink*

***

This is Tito Sonny, Nina's dad. he tirelessly drove for Nina and I wherever and whenever we wished to go - through rehearsals, press works, and even night outs. His punchlines never failed not just to make us laugh, but also to connect with us and lift us every time we feel really exhausted. For me, he is diligence, humor, and passion personified.

***

now let's go back to talking about this wonderful night. apparently this is me drinking coffee, as per Nina's request. i'm using her Starbucks mug here, and am eating cassava cake and puto alongside. hearty late night food, therefore the cheeks :)

***

my biological family also came to visit! daddy wasn't in this picture though.

we were almost complete, only that Nina wasn't here :(

***

just before going home, i took the chance to have a picture with my former pupils. this is Basti. he belongs in my then advisory class, Preparatory-Violet. until now i am still surprised of how his voice already sounds like! time flies too fast indeed.

and this is Gerson... wait. am i seeing things right? is he really taller than I am now?

he was one of my Grade 6 pupils last year, and also one of the best basketball players and most improved students i have handled.

***

it was a very memorable night for me. i ate and laughed, smiled and reminisced, felt a bit homesick and a bit excited, but above all, i felt really grateful, for i believe God has blessed me with people that i will always consider my family...

...yes, going beyond blood relations,

breaking the boundaries created by house walls

and, disregarding the thought of "a hundred miles away."

***

and now i share with you my most favorite shot of the night, crudely edited in Photoshop for the sake of emphasis.

we really missed you, my adopted baby sister!

***

Thank you so much Tito Sonny for the pics, and thank you so much to you and to Tita Naty for having me over!

***

PS - how do you like my new F21 jeans?

counting days...

2011-08-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

...before brother Ryan and I leave for the Philippines.

this is one of the things I would really miss: eating out with the whole family.

let's face it: some people have their families right before their eyes day after day, yet they fail to recognize the undeniable beauty of having all the members of their immediate family under one roof. they don't eat and do things together, obviously wasting precious time that other people would be willing to buy, if it were just possible.

i know this because i speak from experience. during the past two months of my life, when i was away from my parents and i was feeding and supporting myself, i terribly missed the comforts of having to wake up in the morning, breakfast already prepared by my mother. i missed the luxury of going to the malls without having to worry about jeepney or MRT fares just because daddy will always be ready to drive for me. i missed watching DVDs for the millionth time while reciting the lines with my brother Ryan. i missed spending idle times laughing with my brother Kenneth for inside jokes we've replayed a million times over.

i terribly missed them while we were physically away from one another, yet during the times that we were together, we were somehow drawn apart by walls we have unconsciously built.

and given that we are about to physically part ways again in a few days, we spent a good amount of time having dinner in Pizza Company last night.

it wasn't that excellent though when we talk about service, because we were served with the wrong orders twice, the first being the wrong flavor and size of pizza, and the other being two pastas of the same kind, which should not be the case.

anyhow, we still indulged when the food came. i guess we weren't left with other choices, agree?

Ryan's pick: cheese sticks

my perennial pick: lasagna

by the way, i think they used a bigger plate this time. i'm not so sure though.

Mama's pick: baked spinach

Daddy's perennial pick as well: Seafood Pizza

Kenneth's pick: Bolognese

while waiting for the orders, we did some photoshoot as usual. daddy took one-by-one-ish photos of each of us in his phone for contacts purposes.

i myself was surprised that i liked the blurred photos of me better than the clearer ones. i think it's fun to look like a cartoon character once in a while :p

all grown up.

i will really miss photo ops with my brothers.

sweet treat for tonight: my former pupil, Nicole, was there as well! i was so surprised that she was already that tall!

she's one of the best pupils i handled back in her Preparatory days. she's the type of pupil who can be really quiet but can perform really well in written examinations. i showed her a picture of us when she was still in Prep, and after that, daddy offered that he'd take a picture of us... and here it is!

looking forward to maximizing the rest of the days and nights here with my family!

***

I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.

-Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford

hooray for burger lovers!

2011-08-04T23:30:00.000-07:00

i've been avoiding fast foods for how many weeks now, for the simple reason that they don't offer the healthiest of meals. i'd rather cook my own adobong sitaw or tinolang manok, just so i will be assured of its cleanliness and nutritional value. needless to say, prices in fast food chains continue to go up, with the quality of food not necessarily going up with it.

the family went out for a late dinner tonight. we weren't actually decided at first on where to go, but our feet (or should i say the car's wheels?) brought us to Shatea Mall in Dammam, where we opted to dine in Burger Fuel, the place we were so curious about since we first saw it.

the blogger/writer/journalist in me kicked in as soon as we entered the place, so here is a photo of the place's ceiling. fuel tanks, yes?

the place also has comfortable seats!

there's got to be a best part in the dining experience...

...and it has to be the food!

i'm not actually a burger lover. i would prefer pasta over burgers but i do eat burgers when i crave for it once in a while. i'm not a fan of the drowning grease and cholesterol unbelievably seated in a teeny-tiny burger.

BUT, Burger Fuel apparently did not disappoint. there were actually loads of surprises that came along our dining.

so i thought that they are going to serve us with huge plates along with a knife and a fork. but i was wrong! the burger came in a paper bag, with the name of the burger stamped on it. take a look:

how convenient! and look at that boat-like paper structure that sits at the bottom right of this picture. lo and behold, it's a burger holder! ingenious, don't you think?

the Chook Royale, which is my order, is actually a mini. i was so surprised because the burger didn't look like designed for smaller appetite, as the menu did mention! it was big enough for me, but relatively small for me to finish first (wink).

to say that it was delicious is a complete understatement.

funny, i saw a yellowish thing in my burger that i was supposed to remove, as it tasted a bit strange for a burger, but my second bite confirmed that it's actually a pineapple! it was my first time to eat a burger with a pineapple, so i said that this burger is certainly healthy. and take a look at the burger buns! they don't seem like they were already kept for a long time.

you'll really love burgers when you dine in this place.

in for more unique dining experience? i think this is quite obvious, but it wasn't obvious to us until mama and daddy decided to take home the other half of their burgers. do you think we still had to ask for a container for take out? smile if you know the answer! convenience at its best, huh?

however, I don't think that it's a place for you to frequently dine in. for the ingenuity, cleanliness, healthy and fresh food, good service, and all that comes in between, i think they have the right to blow its horns and set a bit pricey menu. so go ahead, mark your calendars, and choose the best occasion for you to dine in here!

this is my brother Ryan and I, already fueled with healthy burgers!

brother Kenneth didn't want to join us in this photo session.

too bad we can't get in this cool car!

i didn't notice this on the way in, maybe i was too preoccupied with what to eat.

and now i leave you with a rather clever mantra that you're supposed to embrace if you're a certified burger lover!

i would have to agree with this. BIG TIME.

thanks to Burger Fuel for a hearty dinner!

now i have something new to look forward to every time i visit Saudi Arabia :)

indulge in their mouth-watering menu!

good morning, humid thursday!

2011-08-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

forgive the apparent exploitation of the recently discovered perks of Flickr.

notice how the lens of my camera easily captured moist as soon as i went out of the house.

i hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I do.

hello dear readers Nina, Gianne, Avriane, Nicole, and Pinky! :)

lots of love, Ria

because i finally learned how to post huge photos

2011-08-03T08:11:00.001-07:00

here is a photo of me in front of a huge Harry Potter 7.2 movie poster in SM Mall of Asia :)

special thanks to Google and Flickr for bearing with me!

*photo courtesy of my IMAX date (wink, wink)

the first of august

2011-08-03T02:35:00.000-07:00

spent the day in my alma mater/first work place, to pay a visit to my former students and co-teachers.

candice

gillian

avriane

gianne

i missed these girls! too bad i didn't have the time to have a picture with all of them.

hope we still get the chance, girls!

what i brought for them from the Philippines

***

just before going home, i took the chance of taking pictures with my co-teachers!

when will one day be ever enough for catching up?

*first five photos courtesy of Avriane :)

catastro-feet

2011-08-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

we were on the way to the dining area in Ramaniyah last night, when the straps of my left-foot sandal snapped. i was so pissed but my brother kept laughing because i kept on dragging my foot to the dining table. i was so down the entire time we were eating. i was so consumed on how i am going to walk from there to the car park.

good thing, and thank God, for nearby stores...

...and for pink, floral designs!

we transferred to another mall right after our flight tickets have been bought. the mall could have thanked us for spending the first night of Ramadan in it! i think we left the place at almost midnight.

guess what could have happened if there weren't any accessible feet-friendly stores where we have first gone!

the inexplicable pain

2011-07-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

it was the afternoon of June 3 when my cousin texted me that Lolo was in the ICU of Medical Center Manila. as if that fact was not heartbreaking enough, the message also said that Lolo would be giving up any moment then.

i wanted to fly home to pack my things, but given that i was still at school that time and in the middle of a very important meeting, i patiently waited until everything was over and it was permissible for me to go.

what good timing was it that it was raining very hard in General Trias, Cavite that time. i braved the roads and cried with the heavens. my heart was very heavy of weight i could not even place in words. i was hoping against hope, praying with all of me, that we could still see Lolo breathing.

never mind the rain and traffic on the way to Manila. despite the ostentatious laughter that all of us in the car mustered, i know that deep down in our hearts, we had the same mantra: Lolo, please hold on...

because of traffic, exhaustion, and anxiety all inside my head, i managed to sleep on the way there. it was most probably God's way of telling me to rest for a while. when i woke up, we were already in front of Medical Center Manila.

thank you very much to the sign at the door which says that we could not get in any longer because visiting time was over. to cut the story short, we pleaded that we are already in an emergency situation. cousin cha and i hurried to the seventh floor, if i'm not mistaken, and when we opened the door, we saw the most heartbreaking scene that we thought we could only see in movies...

Lolo was barely breathing. one of his eyes was already closed; the other was half open. all the people surrounding him had swollen and teary eyes.

the rest, as they say, is history.

my June 5 FaceBook status read:

"LOLO, DARATING PA SI MAMA..." These were the last words that my lolo heard from me. :'( These words probably made him hold on a little longer; however, few minutes later, he gave his last breath. Thank you Lolo for being such a great man. I love you.

the afternoon of June 4. the coffin just arrived in their home in Batangas City.

***

the night of June 8. Ryan celebrating his birthday with Lolo.

***

i miss you, Lolo. i forever will.

***

the night of June 10. Lolo's last night at home. before the family watched the video presentation that my brother Ryan and cousins Carina and Czarah prepared.

***

i just couldn't stop crying. the video presentation showed Lolo's pictures with us, and a video of his birthday celebration two years ago.

***

the morning of June 11. gathered all the courage to smile, despite the weight of the day.

***

at the church

***

at Eternal Gardens, few moments before we finally bid Lolo goodbye.

that's me with face covered with right hand.

***

the family portrait.

ironic how the family reunites when one is already gone.

they are still incomplete, by the way, one of my tito's wasn't able to go home from abroad.

***

Lolo's 40 days.

my Lolo and his junior, together.

***

Dear Lolo,

it's been almost two months, yet the pain still lingers. sometimes i find myself flying back to that rainy afternoon on the way home. i wish i could go back to that night when i held your hand even if it wasn't moving at all, even if it was as cold as ice.

i miss your presence, Lolo. i admit that most of the time i would try to hide from you, of fear that you might scold me for anything. but right now, i wish i opted to be beside you, no matter if i was under your scrutiny minute after minute.

thank you Lolo for creating a strong family. if there is something i would truly be proud of for the rest of my life, it would be the strong family that i belong to. you will be missed in every family party yet to come, but rest assured that you will always be a part of it.

i will miss your hand that gives the Best in Costume award.

***

i will miss you being my proxy parent in pictures because my parents are abroad.

***

...and finally, i will miss the February birthday bashes with us five celebrating.

we will never be complete anymore.

you are always in my heart, Lolo.

I love you so much.

Love, Ria

*photos courtesy of the Facebook accounts of Mama, Ninong Orly, and our family's FB group

gains and losses

2011-05-26T08:24:00.000-07:00

there's a big chunk of my life that's left unrecorded here in my beloved and very much missed blog, but in the pool of thoughts, stories, and what-nots in my life, one thing i would love to share with you tonight (yes, 11:25 pm Philippine time) is this: the more that we lose, the more that we should gain.

life presents us with all sorts of heartbreaking situations that make us feel we are already unworthy of anything. we begin to lose ourselves, the most dangerous being, is letting go of the principles we once held most dear. we tend to curse, hate, and forget how life once caressed us in its sweet embrace. it is really hard to admit that we all have that tendency to let one situation affect the entirety of our being.

no matter how preachy this may sound, i still believe that we gain when we lose. picture it this way: both of your hands are cupped, trying to hold a heap of pebbles. now if for some reason, all the pebbles fell on the ground leaving your hands empty as a result, your initial reaction will be towards negativity. but if you view at it in a different light, then you will be able to appreciate what gaining in losing is.

your hands, though already empty of the first set of pebbles, will again be ready to welcome a new set of pebbles to hold. for me, these pebbles are sets of values and principles. i hope you already get the idea.

i think all of us needs to be renewed once in a while. life for most of us may be a series of heartaches and all that drama, but come to think of it: do you not gain anything in going through your losses?

the hunt is over

2011-04-24T02:30:00.000-07:00

i first saw the gorgeous pair in the Gibi rack in Robinson's Festival Mall few minutes after i bought my maroon umbrella. i was very much fascinated that i couldn't get my hands off it, but unfortunately, i was heading to UPLB to request for my transcript of records. for the record, i really don't like travelling with so much at hand. i'd rather have my travels light and easy. so i left the shoe in the rack, not knowing that three malls after, i still wouldn't find the gorgeous pair.

until my cousin, brother and i went egg hunting yesterday. literally.

we were actually in charged of the easter egg hunt for our family party in Batangas (story in a separate post) so we planned to buy those plastic toy eggs in the local market early yesterday. and believe it or not, after almost three hours, we never saw any hint of our goal. no easter toy eggs anywhere. not even in the supermarkets or groceries nearby.

not even in Citimart, the mall where there were a lot of really good boutiques inside, Plains and Prints and Gibi for example.

because of exhaustion (and because of determination to find the gorgeous pair!) i invited my cousin and my brother to go inside, only to find out... that yes! we should really never give up. even if it means talking about a pair of shoes that you've been hunting for so long.

the pair is ON SALE, so i really heaved a good sigh!

these photos by the way, are already taken here in our house in Cavite, because i didn't have the time to take photos yesterday when everybody was busy as a bee in preparing for the party. :)

we were actually laughing so hard inside the shop because we were all dressed like we just got out of bed. more so, my feet were kind of dirty so the gorgeous pair attended a good welcome! *laughter*

i never knew that Gibi housed a lot of good pairs! i already developed a keen eye on shoes with strings, just like the one you see above, and Gibi has a lot to offer! you should see their oxfords. highly recommended. :)

so after we paid for this, what happened to us, you ask? we still visited three more places, and went home a little defeated. i, on the other hand, felt some sense of fulfillment.

me: sana talaga nag-SM na lang tayo.

cousin: edi wala kang shoes!

true enough! :)

ps - we couldn't have the party without the easter toy eggs, so we went our way to SM Batangas and went home really tired but feeling a great sense of accomplishment. hurray for us! (and double hurray for me!)

ups and downs

2011-04-20T17:22:00.000-07:00

through the ups and downs of my roller coaster ride yesterday, from the screams of glee to the tears of heartbreak, i learned that indeed, everything does not necessarily have to go our way.

here's the story:

the day was planned so clear in my mind: go to DLSU-D to get the requirements i requested, then fly to Manila to apply for master's degree in Philippine Normal University. after that i'm going to treat myself to a little Forever21 spree in SM Makati.

smooth, eh?

not quite.

since DLSU-D was my first stop, i made it a point to be there really early. i arrived there really early that the offices were still closed, but i was cool. it's really in my personality to be an early bird.

when they opened, i found out that the documents i requested weren't processed yet. being my normal self, i smiled and just waited, though it took me give or take an hour for those four papers.

no matter, the papers were worth the wait. :)

la salle's operating on a 4.0 scale, which means that the highest grade that a student could obtain is 4.0. this certification was like asking me, "aren't you glad you patiently waited?" :D

but then really, time didn't stop for me, so i was two hours late for my trip to Manila. i still kept my cool, no matter if a bus to Pasay was really scarce. i kept my eyes on my goal. good thing that there wasn't a heavy traffic at all.

i arrived to my destination during lunchbreak, so again, i had to wait for an hour for offices to be opened. i said to myself, "it's alright, at least i'm already here." i was like a rag when i arrived there. i was all dirty and sweaty as if all the pollution in the world clung to my hair, my face, and my shirt.

when the admissions office opened, i said that i would want to apply for master's degree. the great news that bombed the day was - here it goes - i couldn't actually apply for it. applicants have to have the 18 units UPON ENROLLMENT, and seeing as i'm just getting the remaining 9 units this summer, i am not qualified for application.

i couldn't really explain the feeling i had that moment. i just wanted to stare in blank space. i really did not want to think of anything. so i just continued my journey to SM Makati to somehow ease the feeling a bit.

i still felt really bad while i was having my late lunch (around 3 PM), add the fact that i was eating by myself. good thing that i had my phone with me, that i was able to "talk" to somebody who really helped me during that hard time.

so to give this story a lighter note, i went to Forever21 as a promise to myself. the store was really huge! it was even bigger than the ones i already visited - the one in Rashid Mall in Saudi and the one in Bahrain City Centre.

Forever21's really my one stop shop. this particular branch offers everything a woman can ever need! i was also thrilled to find out that their summer dresses are really cheap. i brought home my first ever jumpsuit (it surprised me that it could be that cheap) and an uber cute necklace. i really couldn't resist this one!

i'll be back here when the branch goes on sale :D

***

lessons of the day:

1. it is not what you want that matters. at the end of the day, God's will prevails. :)

2. God answers prayers in His time.

3. there is always a reason to be happy.

9 more units

2011-04-16T23:07:00.000-07:00

the reason why i've been sooooooo busy these past few days :) this certificate of registration caused a lot of anxiety but hey, faith conquers everything!

this actually is a ticket to a bigger educational career, something that is more uncertain but is a hundred times more exciting if you ask me.

can't wait to be a student once more! nothing beats the feeling. seriously.

mock debut no more!

2011-04-02T18:31:00.000-07:00

"we only turn 18 once... but I'm an exception."

-Alyzza Pamienta

i don't mean to be selfish, but only a few would understand what that meant. if you weren't a part of her FIRST DEBUT CELEBRATION, then you would really be confused.

while we were preparing for that event, she already shared her dream to celebrate her 18th birthday for real. as early as 2009, she already invited me to be part of it.

a few weeks ago, i really feared that i might not able to attend. our first flight to the Philippines was supposed to be scheduled on April. i really fought that we would be here before March 31st just so i could fulfill my promise to Alyzza.

the venue - Lights of Love Events Place, Quezon City

i really fell in love with this place

***

what would greet you when you come in - the dessert bar!

truly an eye and a heart candy :)

***

look - i'm still a part of the 18 treasures!

***

celebrated the day with the same group of people!

***

the breathtaking moment

Alyzza really rocked the night. she looked like a princess from a fairytale.

***

she looks really royal in her gown.

for me, her gown is the white version of belle's gown in beauty and the beast.

***

about the most favorite shot i have of the night!

i love how my camera captured the lighting effect.

***

Alyzza in her second gown. this girl has got taste!

***

while preparing the 18 candles on her birthday cake

***

what i wrote on her guest book.

***

she looks like a doll. seriously.

***

hi alyzza! i'll be sending you the link of this post in a while, and i'd like you to read what was supposed to be my speech that night:

happy, happy SECOND 18th birthday alyzza! this isn't a mock debut anymore. i'm really honored to have been part of your first and second 18th birthday celebrations. i'm also honored because i'll be forever sharing this day with you. as you know, i also celebrated my debut on the 31st of March. and so what i bought for you is the same as one of the gifts that i received on my 18th birthday. i really loved it, and i hope you love it too. i hope that you'll love its name for a start - PINK grapefruit. i know that we both love pink and i hope you'll remember me every time you use these. keep on shining! i love you and happy, happy birthday. for real.

Dear God,

2011-02-21T12:24:00.000-08:00

i praise Your Name for such a wonderful day and for all the lessons that came with it.

thank you so much for the wonderful sky this morning. it made my heart leap for joy. it made me smile. it gave me hope. it made me want to capture every angle of Your masterpiece.

thank you for all the people whom You have sent in my midst to remind me how much You love me. thank you for all the inspiration they give so that i will be a better servant for You.

thank you for giving me the opportunity to touch lives. thank you for always believing in me. thank you for making me an instrument to inspire change for the better.

You have guided me in the roughest days in my profession. though i may be ranting from time to time, you never gave up on holding my back and on telling me to stop complaining. thank you so much for showing me that there is nothing I can't do because You are with me.

i'm sorry for the times that pride took over me. i believe that every trial that hindered me to move forward was designed so that humility will prevail in my heart. i know God that you want nothing more than for me to be a woman of faith, no matter what the circumstances are.

please continue to be the light in my every word and action. may everything that I do day in and out will continue to show that You are such a loving God.

everything I do is for You. take all my actions as a sign of my unending gratitude.

i will forever praise You.

i love you so much,

Ria

every cloud has a silver lining

2011-02-21T05:53:00.000-08:00

people, events, or situations may have failed us once or twice...

but really, what right do we have to give up?

let me just share this...

in my line of work, many of us educators could have easily given up on students who frequently show disinterest and laziness. some of us even rant about them not giving their full attention to their studies. some of us do brand them as people who do not care about the tuition fees that their parents pay, based on their performances inside the classroom.

we may have rightful bases on these harmful accusations, but fellow educators, let us also try to put ourselves in the shoes of these students. they may be undergoing something in their respective lives at the moment, that they cannot give their full concentration. it's our job to find out. we have to be humanistic.

their experiences in life so far do not allow them to see the world in our view just yet. they have to be in our ages so that they'll know the full extent of their actions. let us not hasten their youth by frequently saying that they should immediately mature and grow up. sometimes, it is wise to let them go and have fun. soon enough, if they see the good or bad consequences of their actions unfold before their eyes, i am sure that they would somehow learn to think for themselves.

it is not wise to give up on them. for, if we decide to give up on these students, would we ever see them reach their full potential? would we see them smile with pride as they receive their hard earned diploma, certificate, or medals? would we hear them say their gratitude for all the guidance that we provided them?

i am saying all these because i realized that indeed, it works to show students genuine love and care. our words may be an effective sword to pierce the growing rebellion in their hearts, but our actions are far better - for our actions can embrace their hearts in such a way that they would not even dare to step one foot out of the line ever again.

i share with the world my undying belief that the youth of today is productive and strong willed, if properly guided and empowered. let us not give up, dear educators, for every effort that we consciously give will pay off in the end.

***

CONGRATULATIONS TO MY GRADE 6 STUDENTS!

i am so happy with the result of your quarterly exam in English.

what we've learned in class really holds true-

every cloud has a silver lining.

(be optimistic; even difficult times will lead to better days)

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

***

meanwhile, i'd like to thank the sweet girls who gave me a bunch of roses last Wednesday. the last time i had this much roses was during my 18th birthday celebration! :)

i arranged them neatly into a small bouquet on my bedside table :)

thank you so much Nina, Grade 6-Faith, and I-Generosity!

a hearty send off

2011-02-15T04:25:00.001-08:00

the blank stare preceded the teary eyes. the shock preceded the sadness. the news clouded the vividness of an otherwise planned Sunday.

"last day ko na."

i did not know what to make of it. i stared, debating against myself - should i let the tears flow right now? no. i have things to attend to. but as i walk away from her, my heart can't stop beating fast. why so sudden?

***

we went to the Science Lab, apparently making the most of our free time before the bell rings. she told me every detail of her interview, and i can say that i learned a lot. i learned not just how the interviews go in the Philippines, but i learned most of all how very important it is to put your heart in what you do - because eventually, it will all pay off. :)

***

i consider that one afternoon in August to be the first heart-to-heart talk between us. we were there, waiting for the orientation to begin, when the topic of me wanting to pursue a masteral degree was brought up. that moment, i saw her face light up as she shared that she also wanted the same. it turns out that we both wanted to improve ourselves professionally. from that moment on, i knew that this woman is going to be one of the best mentors i will ever have.

***

the talk on having a masteral degree really bonded us. i remember the time when one morning she shared that she's already made it to Corllins University's distance education program. i was so happy for her, at the same time, i felt very much in awe of her heart's fervor in pursuing what she really wants.

then there's another morning just this January when i shared that i'm considering having my masteral in Philippine Normal University, her alma mater. she started getting excited about everything and she even gave me a lot of advices!

God is so great! He really knew who to send so that i can be in my fullest. :)

***

in celebration of the World Teachers' Day :)

***

because we share the same batch of students and because my youngest brother is her student, i learned how effectively she carries out her lessons in class. for so many times i wanted to sit in her class and learn from how she performs as an educator. in other words, i wanted to be her student. she's the kind of educator that the teens right now really need to have.

***

this is a happy picture of my brother's batch, taken last December during the school's Foundation Day Celebration. they won the 1st Runner Up in the Cheerdance Competition, thanks to a very dedicated and meticulous mentor who never settles for mediocrity. :)

***

despite everything, let me just say that i'm really happy for her new adventure. i completely understand what her heart looks for. our bonding moments, though rather short, revealed her heart and her visions that made me really want to pursue teaching. her words are in my heart, her visions are in my mind. we share the same ardor in making the world much better through genuine service to the young leaders of today and tomorrow.

"just be happy for me, and i'll be happy for you."

i love you mam! i'll always keep in touch :)

God bless you on your new journey!

***

Photos courtesy of Nina, Mam David's and Kenneth's FB account

sweet treats

2011-02-14T04:54:00.000-08:00

slept at around 4 am to finish baking my heart-shaped cookies for my beloved students. :)

i really didn't mind whether i will get a good amount of sleep or not. it's just that i thought, there's never going to be another February 14, 2011 again. i had to make the most out of my time with my students and make them feel special in my own little way.

cookie dough art!

i did not intend to do this, that's why after i removed the cookie cutter from the dough and saw its effect, i smiled big time and immediately thought of having its photo taken!

time for packaging :)

***

i went home today with more than a pocketful of treats from students and co-teachers :)

i looooooooooove this picture because it did not take me any editing at all!

natural lighting, for the win!

the sweet tooth rejoices! yaaaaaaaay! :)

heart cut-outs from a co-teacher and a former student :)

***

SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST!

i surprisingly received my favorite flower this day, and that is...

maybe one of my older posts will tell you that.

or maybe the pictures below will give you an idea what it is.

they're made of papers, so they're meant to last.

PLUS! they are scented! :D

how very thoughtful and creative :)

so i took all the chances of posing for the camera with my uber gorgeous flowers!

SPREAD THE LOVE!

***

"...let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

1 John 3:18

finding solace

2011-02-12T11:32:00.000-08:00

No matter how many persons/events/things try to pull us down, let us not forget to find comfort in the thought that God won't give us anything we can't handle.

May the beauty of nature remind us that God pays attention to every little detail in our lives. Every twist and turn is a part of His grand design. Let us welcome His will in our lives with open arms.

***

Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

Psalm 34:14

the epic video

2011-02-10T04:23:00.000-08:00

this is the first part of the epic video - the reason why i cried so hard on the first few hours of February 3, 2011.

to all my students who served as the heart and mind of this surprise,

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

thank you for appreciating the things i do in class.

thank you for the effort that you exert in my subject.

continue honing your skills and talents;

strive so that you will never be a burden to our economy.

Meco Fajardo, i know i already said this one time too many,

but i won't get tired of thanking you for putting this video together.

IV-WISDOM AND SUCCESS SY 2010-2011:

"you'll always be a part of me."

YOU GUYS ARE BEYOND COMPARE.
I LOVE YOU ALL!

the week long birthday celeb

2011-02-09T03:23:00.000-08:00

February 05, 2011, Saturday

i entered the room, then everybody erupted to a LOUD happy birthday song.

i brought with me the cake that candice gave me as a birthday gift :)

voila! instant birthday celeb with the rest of them!

the Student Council awarded us the Cleanest Classroom for the 3rd Quarter,

super thanks to them, we had an extra reason to celebrate!

ps - thank you so much Jamie for the letter. it made my heart melt. <3

***

February 06, 2011, Sunday

i was heading upstairs when the girls seated in the hallway ran inside the room.

to my surprise, they sang a happy birthday AGAIN,

i looked at the teacher's table and found...

an ube cake from Cherlyn!

it was suuuuuuuuuper yummy!

thank you so much dear :)

***

February 07, 2011, Monday

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

while they were singing, i was so dumbfounded that i couldn't place if they were

already on a joke,

or they just really wanted to sing to me over and over.

but they weren't playing any pranks!

blueberry cheesecake on my table, super thanks to Kathlyn!

***

February 08, 2011, Tuesday

if i were to count the number of times these pupils celebrated my birthday,

i would already be 26 years old. :))

i really appreciated the little banner that took effort to make,

not to mention these delectable ensaymada that i already indulged

in the rather hungrier moments of my life. thank you Gillian!

***

i may have said the words THANK YOU SO MUCH over and over,

but i really can't put it any better!

THANK YOU SO MUCH GRADE 6-FAITH!

i really appreciate all the sweetness and thoughtfulness.

God bless you all! <3

***

pic 4 courtesy of Eyb and pic 5 courtesy of Jovi Joyce :)

thanks girls!

birthday panache

2011-02-07T06:54:00.000-08:00

February 03, 2010

February 03, 2011

the winged Forever 21 blouse and yummy chocolate cake came in two consecutive birthdays!

photos courtesy of the girl who strums her guitar

tales of the 22nd birthday celebration

2011-02-07T04:27:00.001-08:00

February 02, 2011

around 11:45 PM

the serenade.

the first birthday song.

the shouting of HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATE RIA! WE LOVE YOU!

[notice how the girls put so much effort in this. they're all in PINK! :D]

***

February 03, 2011

around 12:15 AM

the kidnapping and the series of clues that led me to my first birthday cake (blueberry cheesecake, thank you Glenda!) and my birthday banner

(thank you Tito Sonny!)

***

around 12:45 AM

the epic video that made me shed buckets of tears.

thank you so much Meco for the effort!

***

around 01:45 AM

the preparation for a super late night/early morning bonding!

***

around 05:30 AM

woke up to cook sopas for our breakfast! waaaaaaaaaaah, no pictures? :))

***

around 07:00 AM

birthday request - pictures of the sky :)

***

around 10:30 AM

photoshoot galore!

***

around 02:30 PM

dressed up for the party!

***

around 03:00 PM

my grade 6 lovelies arrived!

***

around 04:00 PM

happy, happy birthday with my first cake and...

...second cake! (thank you Gianne!)

***

around 06:30 PM

the surprises didn't end yet - time for sparklers!
***

around 07:00 PM

time for my third cake!

***

around 08:30 PM

gave thanks to God through songs and prayers.

this part was a surprise to me. (come to think of it, what part of the day wasn't a surprise at all?)

i didn't know that we're going to have a gathering here until mama told me hours before.

superb way to end the day!

***

I really wish i could write everything in details. believe it or not, everything that happened still makes me float into air that's why i am still at a loss for words. if i could just have time bring me back to these moments so that i could savor them longer, i would.

to everyone who has been part of these celebrations, to all those who greeted me in their own ways however inconvenient, to everyone who has been part of my life,

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

you made me beyond happy.

***

May the Lord bless you and keep you;
May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Numbers 6:24-26

***

photos courtesy of Nina and Eyb :)

thank you so much girls!

indebted

2011-02-04T07:07:00.000-08:00

please give me time to let all the happenings from the past two days sink in, and then i'll let you know everything that took place. i am currently in the state of pure bliss and gratitude, that i can't even put into words what brought me in this particular condition.

for now, let me just say...

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE FOR YOUR LOVE.

twenty second year begins!

photo courtesy of Nina :)

in the attitude of prayer

2011-01-30T15:45:00.000-08:00

it's 2:45 AM of January 30, and i am still in the middle of some heavy teacher work. i'm still so up and about for i had an untimely nap from 9 to 10:30 PM earlier, and i had coffee. there you go.

i am usually productive in the morning, i mean when i already had a good night's rest and i wake up really early. i'm actually not this type of person who stays up so late then sleeps for a little while. however, i'm really determined to spend so much time in attending to these things that i have to finish.

***

my heart has been very thankful from the time that i started working hours ago. from the moment i started, i never opted to stop. this is all of course, from the grace of God.

***

today's an exciting day because i prepared activities for my students to enjoy. at the same time of course, these activities do not sacrifice their learning for the sake of mere fun. i make it a point everyday to exemplify the words, learning is fun.

***

i am getting rather uneasy that 4th quarter is coming to an end. i really don't want it to end yet - considering the fact that i'm going to miss discussing different economic issues in class that i never dreamed of doing, i'm going to miss staying up late just to prepare a 5 or 10 minutes worth of activities in a class, and i'm going to miss all the excitement that an anticipated outcome of class gives me.

i yearn for a longer time to be with my students, so that i can see them improve more in written, oral, and hands-on exams. i yearn for more first time activities with them, and see them enjoy themselves in the process. i yearn for a lot more experiential learning, profound discussions, not to mention hearty laughs and unexpected bonds along the way.

***

God has blessed me with so much. He gave me skills and talents that i maximize for the benefit of my students. i share with them every technique that i used when i was still studying; techniques that helped me very much in becoming who i am today. i share with them visions that i have for the youth of the country, and dreams that really open their eyes and heart to hope and love for country.

though i've cried countless times of stress and exhaustion, i will never tire of getting up again just so these students will be led to the good paths of love for education and faith in God. more than anything else in the world, i want to see these students as world changers - people who fight for what is right, people who will be responsible in their actions, and people who will embrace God's love in whatever situation they are in. these are my visions. i hope that through the simple activities that i give, discussions that i conduct, and questions that i throw in class, the students are able to absorb my intense desire to see change happen.

***

PRAY WITHOUT CEASING.

1 Thessalonians 5:17

***

three days!

a way to heat the rainy day

2011-01-28T23:06:00.000-08:00

it was a rainy day last Wednesday and to tell you the truth, it really bothered me a lot because it was the scheduled day for our school paper's fund raising, which i am supposed to head.

believe me, the rain was that hard, that i was already preparing myself to receive a no-classes news anytime.

it's a good thing God heard my prayers, classes weren't suspended, and no one got involved in some road accidents on the way to school. to my surprise, the students enjoyed themselves playing badminton in the hall during the first hour of the day.

it was a very busy day for some, most especially for me, but i'd like to say that i enjoyed a lot, most especially when i had to go to the TLE room to cook. :)

here are my first year students, working hard for their practicum in my subject. they were already starting to prepare for the cheese sticks that they were assigned to do when i came to give them a hand. i took over the slicing of the mozzarella cheese, so that all of them would be focused on the wrapping process that i believe takes more time.

i really had fun doing it because the students working with me were just laughing and enjoying and for the most part, just keen on finishing their task. it's also very fulfilling that through this activity, i was able to contribute a skill that they would use in their lives sooner or later.

our topic in class is retailing, so after they cooked, they sold their products. too bad i didn't get any picture of them while they were selling. i'm just going to ask in class about it. i hope i'll not forget. :)

their hard work yielded a lot of income, and because of that, i'm giving you girls a two thumbs up! :D

***

since i am a TLE teacher, i decided to incorporate some retailing lessons in our fund raising. i thought of selling food just to be deviant from the usual forms of fund raising in school.

my students assigned themselves as to who would cook and who would roam to sell. we cooked fish balls in the afternoon, and believe it or not - we laughed like crazy while doing so!

i don't know but laughing moments just come out naturally once in a while. it's actually good because the work that we were doing didn't seem work at all! we were all there enjoying the company of each other, apparently savoring the moment that we are certain we would never bring back.

and huge thanks to cameras, at least we could somehow relive the memories of that day. i'm planning to have a second go in this fund raising, something really similar to this - that we could bond while cooking and selling food for everybody's delight!

thank you so much to all those who worked hard for the fund raising!

photos courtesy of Nina

so refreshing!

2011-01-28T20:21:00.000-08:00

The Desert Song by Hillsong - This has been on repeat for two mornings in a row, simply because it's very much refreshing to hear the truth embedded in its lyrics.

and look - it's the story of my life!

after each verse (written in italics), i'm going to paste snippets from my past blog entries

that will prove how i can truly relate to this song!

***

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

if there is something that i wish to share in this entry, it's this:
let's see the beauty in everything.
circumstances may be unfavorable to us, but at one point anytime soon,
we will wish to go back to the time when we were complaining of
scorching heat or trembling cold.

[appreciate, 14 July 2010]

***

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

ask God to make you as adamant as you can ever be, to not waver in the lightest of quakes, to not give up in the smallest of heartaches, for only Him can make you so indestructible.

[head on, 21 January 2011]

***

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

today was a normal, stressful day?
scratch that!
TODAY IS A COMPLETELY AMAZING DAY!

and everyday will always be like that, if we just have the right attitude to face it.

[we are what we choose, 21 July 2010]

***

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

and so i learned that the world can tear us apart by blinding us with tiresome, exhausting, "worldly" activities. how come did i forget to focus on what really matters? the students need my skills, my expertise, my smiles, and my encouragements. i should focus on shaping them by bringing them only my best.
from this day forward, whilst i'm here, i'm going to be the best educator that i can be.

[sparks of hope, 19 july 2010]

***

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

whatever you may be going through right now dear reader,

i believe there's something in your life worthy of profound thanks.

[thankfulness, 24 January 2011]

***

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

well, this is it! the surprise i've been so hopeful for!

i told you through this how excited i am for something, however uncertain. for the record, God gave it to me on Saturday and here i am today - an English teacher, no less!

[thankfulness, 24 January 2011]

***

as the song says,

WE ALL HAVE A REASON TO SING, AND A REASON TO WORSHIP.

IT'S PERFECT TIME TO LOVE GOD WITH YOUR ALL!

good morning everyone!

handwritten

2011-01-27T05:59:00.000-08:00

kindly do me a favor. please comment on this post with your name and/or blog url (if any) so that i'll know who my lovely readers are.

enjoy the rest of your day! :D

God bless everybody!

just because

2011-01-25T10:19:00.000-08:00

today was rather tiring because of the hectic schedule in school, three overlapping classes in the afternoon to be exact. still, the day wasn't all that bad because i was able to carry out all the lesson plans for today, and right now i'm going to tell you about the concluding activity that i had in my English classes.

since we discussed subordinate conjunctions, i made the students complete this sentence:

I enjoyed today's English class because __________________.

the answers were so touching, quite a lot came really unexpectedly.

some of which are as follows:

...of Ms. Ria.

...I participated.

...my teacher is kind.

...of our new teacher.

...Ms. Ria came to teach us.

...there are many activities.

...I participated in our class.

...learning with Miss Ria is fun.

...our teacher gave us a skillful activity.

...our new teacher Ms. Ria is so much fun.

...we had fun activities that will make us memorize the lesson.

...our teacher is Miss Ria and I've understood the lesson very well.

...Ms. Arana gave a special technique on how we can easily learn the conjunctions.

...we studied about subordinate clause and subordinating conjunction and we have a new English teacher who taught us well.

***

awwww Grade 6 pupils, you just didn't know how you made my day!

thank you so much for the very kind words,

i assure you i'm really going to make learning in English so much fun!

God bless you all!

thankfulness

2011-01-24T09:06:00.000-08:00

well, this is it! the surprise i've been so hopeful for!

i told you through this how excited i am for something, however uncertain. for the record, God gave it to me on Saturday and here i am today - an English teacher, no less!

i already handled Preparatory English last year and I already handled Grade 5 English for quite some time during the same year, so it really isn't my first time to teach the subject. however, something about this is really superb! i've been dreaming for so long to become a permanent teacher in higher English and God answered my prayer a week before my precious birthday.

i've been telling myself that God gave this to me as an early birthday gift. though my feet would tire of a triple period in the afternoon, i believe God would send me His grace so that i wouldn't feel that much exhausted. moreover, i believe that because this is something that i really, really like, it will help in making me feel alive despite the physical tiredness.

finally writing about this seems so surreal. i still can't believe it! though the reason why i was put here is rather sad, i am trusting God that He knows what is best. He has plans and He carries them out in times so perfect.

my first formal English classes will officially start tomorrow, because today is rather irregular and activity-full. i think God wants me that prepared that He put to a halt everything until He thinks i can go with my all.

i love you God. thank you for making today possible.

***

more blessings for today!

one of my co-teachers came to school with a round coffee cake for everyone to share. it was really yummy because it wasn't that sweet; but that what made it soooooo unique, aside from the fact that you can really distinguish the taste of coffee in every bite.

and given that another of my co-teacher is celebrating her birthday today, we had another cake in the faculty room which gave me another slice!

***

it's not everyday that i get treats from the Philippines!

thank you Nat, i hope you enjoyed your vacation there :)

***

and look - three lollies from my students Kam and Glenda.

i thought they were only joking when they said they had something for me.

how very thoughtful :) thank you girls!

***

thank you so much Eyb for this sweet remark.

very much appreciated :)

***

whatever you may be going through right now dear reader,

i believe there's something in your life worthy of profound thanks.

so what's your gratitude list for today?

***

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1

what randomness yields

2011-01-21T07:35:00.000-08:00

it was the night of December 24, 2010 when i did nothing but nudge my brother Ryan for us to bake some cookies. we had no prior experience whatsoever; it was just that i felt like i really, really wanted to learn how to produce something edible from scratch... and i meant scratch.

Ryan googled the recipe of the chocolate chip cookies and we started to turn the overhead cabinets down for the ingredients. we didn't have brown sugar for a start, but we pushed through, with two cups of white sugar instead. of course we didn't know what would that yield; we just went on!

we were pleased to know that we had flour, vanilla powder, and baking powder in the cabinets. even the house was cooperating in my little baking drama! boy, was i so glad.

we didn't have cookie cutters at the moment so what we did was shape the cookies according to desire. they were rather uneven, but the fun and excitement in the process was beyond compare. my brother even made a Santa-shaped one, and wondered days after where it ever went.

being that it was our very first time to do it, the first batch was overcooked.

good thing that the next batches weren't!

we didn't have chocolate chips so we just used the mini MnM's i saw in one of the cabinets here. the cookies were extra sweet, primarily because of the two cups of white sugar. we learned better, because the next time we baked, we made it sure that we had the complete ingredients.

i daresay that it was the most random - but most rewarding - thing we ever did on Christmas season.

***

i spent every day last week in our school's TLE Room just so all of my first year students would learn how to properly do the cookies.

i gave them the freedom to do whatever they want, but of course it was within my supervision. i was strict in telling them basically what to bring and what to do, and after that, they were free to do their garnishing.

***

the more time that i do the cookies, the more that i learn the "secrets" of properly doing them. for example, i already learned how to make them extra creamy and chocolatey. i also learned, through online browsing, how to make them chewy.

it pays sometimes to make your own rules and do things the way you want them, but of course it always pays to know the basics first.

***

i'd like to learn how to bake more stuff before i turn 22! any suggestions?

head on

2011-01-21T02:57:00.000-08:00

will be turning 22 in a matter of days! i'm getting really anxious though there is no particular reason to feel that way. the anxiety can probably be attributed to the more mature decisions that i have to face sooner or later.

hence the new look of the blog!

i like it better this way - simple, clean, and yes - mature. i realized that my blog doesn't have to be really pink all over just so tales of the pink princess will be justified. *wink*

***

huge boxes are already here in the house, signaling that summer vacation is already coming close. we're going home to the Philippines in a few months and who knows if it will be for good. i am seriously in dire need for some major decluttering. i'd like to see things rearranged, because it gives me some sense of jolt, novelty, and creativity.

note to self: MUST DO THIS SOON!

***

plans for summer are already piling up. however, the others are still hazy until such time that i personally attend to the matters in the Philippines. i think i'm going to spend a huge amount of time and fortune for the second summer, but so what - if it's going to be a huge investment for my future, i'd gladly offer everything.

***

something about this week excites me. aside from the fact that i am more geared for my classes, my head's up for wider stretches of creativity. i don't know, i feel like God's going to surprise me with something. i'll let you know whenever it comes up. :)

***

my unsolicited advice for you, my dear reader: take time to sit in a serene place, close your eyes, and thank God for the blessing that you are in the lives of the people around you :) ask God to make you as adamant as you can ever be, to not waver in the lightest of quakes, to not give up in the smallest of heartaches, for only Him can make you so indestructible.

twisted

2011-01-17T04:21:00.000-08:00

TORQUE [tawrk]
(noun)

something that produces or tends to produce torsion or rotation;
the moment of a force or system of forces tending to cause rotation

source: www.dictionary.com

Science never did make it to my list of favorite subjects, but it's never too late to love it for the great source of metaphor that it is.

this week has twisted me that far that here i am sitting on a cold Monday afternoon, still suffering from a very bad cold with all these heavy teacher work waiting to be done. the kind of pressure that i've been through for the past days has caused rotation enough to have my resistance weakened and my self confidence tested.

you wouldn't even believe your ears once you learn how much work i've finished for the past days. i'd like to believe that i managed to finish a week's load of work in a matter of three days. and lo and behold dear Ria, you are just in the middle of the week! i have two more excruciatingly long and very heavy days.

to contradict the seemingly negative tone of this post, i am proud of myself for such accomplishments. i didn't know i could stretch myself that far. it may be rather negative to note that my health has already suffered, but i'd also like to pay homage to the blossoming results that my sleepless nights and sickly days brought, not only to me, but more importantly, to the people around me. :)

***

there's something i realized that i'd like to share: being organized is something i cannot do without. i am most efficient when i see things to be done written on ink. my life has an extra sense of direction when i write down the things that i need to do. for that, i give a huge thank you to my trusty planner and pink pen for keeping me on track.

***

sometimes, force really brings out the best in people. i am speaking from experience. i learned that no matter how hard i complain to myself, no matter how bad i want to sleep early, and no matter how i secretly wish i were those people with no heavy responsibilities... at the end of it all, when i finish what i have to do, i look back and smile, thanking God for helping me get through.

***

without torque, no water would be coming out of the faucet.

without pressures, no output would be coming out of an idle mind.

***

ps - thank you so much Right for this surprise! :)

crepe date with my brother

2011-01-14T21:52:00.000-08:00

it might probably be my last visit to Bahrain for our multiple visa will expire in a few days. i admit that i'm really going to miss the comforts and enjoyment of the country that somehow made me feel at home - malling without abayas and watching movies as if i'm in the Philippines.

last Friday (January 7) was a scheduled trip to Bahrain with the family when we learned weeks ago that My Amnesia Girl will be shown in Seef Cineplex. yes, I do support Filipino movies being that i am an Economics teacher and that i love to help my country in ways such as this. :)

while waiting for the movie to start (we got the 4:45pm tickets), Kenneth and I got hungry. bearing in mind that this could be my last trip to the country, i wanted to try something different. so instead of choosing Starbucks for our afternoon coffee, I opted to invite Kenneth to this small resto i've been eyeing for so long: The Crepe Cafe.

being the oreo lover that he is, Kenneth chose to have an oreo crepe. we enjoyed it that much that we wanted to order something for take home, but we were too much full at the moment that our brains somehow ditched the idea.

if one day we'll be blessed to go back to Bahrain, i would definitely not miss the chance of once again sitting on those comfortable yellow couches while sipping coffee and indulging in their delectable crepes.

PS - hi gianne! thank you for taking time to visit my blog and for being very thoughtful in telling me that "it's so interesting." God bless! :)

hello 2011!

2011-01-01T01:00:00.000-08:00

the 31st of December may be the busiest and loudest day/night in the history of other countries, but not here in my current location. except for the super mall sales, the culture here do not pay much attention to the welcoming of another year (considering that it has another way of celebrating the "new" year). so this new year eve yet again, we missed the fun that the eve brings to the people who celebrated in the Philippines.

it doesn't mean though that celebrations are negligible. if there is one thing that i can be proud of in the celebrations here, it's the simplicity of the gatherings and the togetherness of every nuclear family. hence...

my brother Ryan (in white) came here all the way from the Philippines to celebrate the season with us. he'll be leaving in a matter of hours, which is rather sad, but we'll all be looking forward to the summer vacation when we'll all be together again to celebrate his college graduation. :)

hope you all had a wondrous celebration :)

HAVE A BLESSED 2011 EVERYONE!

drafts no more

2010-12-25T23:32:00.000-08:00

i mentioned once before that you'd probably not believe if i tell you that i have tons of drafts here. they would have been screaming out loud for utter jealousy of those posts that get instant publishing within minutes worth of writing and proofreading.

moreover, if these drafts could talk, they would tell me that i just wasted precious time in pouring my heart out in meticulously crafting those words.

this morning i browsed through them and wondered why indeed, i haven't published them; maybe in the middle of writing i suddenly lost my train of thoughts that i decided to just save them for some future editing.

so that these drafts would not hate me forever, i will publish them right before 2010 ends; i know that this will serve its rightful purpose.

note: the dates when i wrote the drafts are indicated. post titles are nonexistent unless otherwise stated. posts are copied and pasted from the original draft, no edits whatsoever.

***

March 30 2010

purpose driven

now why spend a good summer in a classroom when i can just bathe myself in the sun, have fun in the malls, or just savor the sweetness of life in the Philippines that the desert can't bring?

i remember one of my students asking me at the onset of the school year, "mam, gusto nyo po ba talagang maging teacher?" to which i answered on the negative. i never really wished to become a teacher, but i assure you that i find purpose in what i am doing. in other words, i already have enjoyed teaching from the very first day that i stepped in a class.

this summer i am going to spend a lot of good time in school; i will finally be getting my education units. i know that i've been musing about this for quite some time now, and in few weeks' time, it's all going to happen.

being an educator is pointblank noble. it is one of the most humbling professions that one can be in.

***

June 01 2010

[untitled]

it's like...

being deprived of the last drop of water.

seeing the light at the end of a long tunnel but never actually getting there.

running a race and tripping inches before the finish line and never be able to touch it.

***

August 01 2010

[untitled]

i sometimes wish that there are subjects in elementary and high school such as Discipline, Respect, Obedience, Friendship, and Honesty.

on second thought, those subjects will be hardcore burden to those who will be teaching them. for one, these things cannot be taught the way teachers teach grammar rules, formulas to solutions, and techniques to memorize. these are taught in a different manner altogether.

unlike the subjects we have in school, the things i mentioned above are not "subjects" that can be read in textbooks. sure, there are self-help books but there are no rigid rules on how to be disciplined, respectful, and the like.

furthermore, who is best qualified to teach those things? everyone makes mistakes. everyone commits something wrong that somehow "disqualifies" them from being the "proper" teacher of those things.

and so i ask myself, how do i really teach those subjects?

are they supposed to be taught, or are the students supposed to learn them in a different way?

the hardest subjects to teach are the ones not written in books. oftentimes, students just see that we teachers want them to get correct answers, disregarding the values that they get in the process.

for example, in memorizing a lot of difficult terms. they just think that it's a burden, but alongside the memorizing is a good way to discipline themselves. how much time are they going to spend in reviewing so as to familiarize themselves with all of the terms given?

some math problems are indeed difficult to solve. most of the time i hear students whining about math not being part of their future. but see, math trains us to solve real-life problems. math trains us to push ourselves to find the proper solution to a problem. it's like every math problem is teaching us, "how far are you willing to go?"

teachers giving students assignments and readings at home for reinforcement do not only intend the students to learn more about the lesson. in hindsight, they are developing the values of industry, respect and honesty. homeworks should be done at home, and not in school. this tests the students' priorities. what has respect got to do with this? i told my students that not doing their assignments is equivalent to disrespect, because they chose not to follow their teacher's orders.

***

August 24 2010

bursting

this will be a very blunt entry.

Venus Raj's winning 4th runner up in the Miss Universe 2010 made me all proud of her. period.

no ifs, no buts, no should haves, no could have beens.

i don't really know how to feel whenever i see the words "major major" on the status of so many people on the internet. i don't know how to feel whenever they look down on the person just because she did not manage to somehow PLEASE their standard.

when can we ever be satisfied in life?

some even tell that they "expect" Venus to win the title so that "somehow" their spirits will be lifted. with their words, they are implying that Venus even dampened their spirits. well, ladies and gentlemen, external motivation should always rank second. internal motivation should go first. so haters, why don't you try to change your outlook in life?

i graduated with a bachelor's degree in Communication Arts Major in Speech Communication. i've been on the spot with too many assigned speeches, and i've seen and heard great speeches too. BUT it is never a guarantee that a good speaker will ALWAYS produce a good speech.

are there no considerations? shouldn't we give credit to the beauty queen, given that she had very humble beginnings? furthermore, her friend Melody Gersbach just passed away. what part of these situations don't we understand? do we always have to judge people only by what we see, without even knowing what might have caused their action?

why not offer MEANINGFUL and CONSTRUCTIVE suggestions instead?

i, as a speech comm teacher, learned a lot from what happened. i knew that i should double my effort in making the students understand how important it is to prepare before a speech.

the moment that we turn our destructive comments into healthy actions, then and only then will we be productive.

***

September 09 2010

[untitled]

i just wanted to share a piece of my heart with you, whether i personally know you or not, whether you are crumbling in the cold or basking in the hot afternoon sun, wherever you are in the world...

EMBRACE HAPPINESS.

there's nothing like letting your heart smile, making your mind loosen up, and just lying your head while looking at the stars.

***

September 23 2010

hair talk

i decided to chop off my long, measly hair and sport the old school style bangs. :) i didn't want to have bangs for the longest time, the last being when i was in the fifth grade? but when i saw Kris Aquino carrying the look, i decided to give it a try. i guess i'm the living proof of my lesson in Economics on how the Filipinos' pattern of consumption (following the steps of the people they idolize)

***

i suddenly felt like i've shown you some sort of deleted scenes from a DVD. notice how some posts are left hanging; if that's the case then i was right in saying that i lost my train of thoughts somewhere there. but i hope you enjoyed reading even if the posts weren't in their "proper" seasons anymore.

Noël heureux!

2010 on rewind

2010-12-24T22:26:00.000-08:00

amid tears and heartaches...

come to think of it...

2010 HAS BEEN A GREAT YEAR!

the following are just SOME of the MANY reasons why 2010 is one memorable year.

i...

celebrated my 21st birthday :)

***

attended (and emceed) my 3rd prom!

***

attended the Commencement Exercises of my very own Preparatory students!

(and emceed the succeeding ceremony with very, very bad cough)

***

finally got my college diploma!

***

was able to finally step foot in Eastwood! :D

***

completed my 9 Education units

... and gained new friends in the process

***

had a reunion with my high school classmates!

***

traveled all the way to Pampanga!

***

enjoyed the comforts of our refurbished house

***

decorated my own classroom!

***

emceed on the Filipino community's Independence Day celebration :)

***

have been addicted to Diary of a Wimpy Kid

***

was able to indulge in Pinkberry!

***

went out with my girls in a relaxing atmosphere on Gianne's birthday

***

tasted this yummy chocolate called Guylian for the first time!

(thanks to my student, Cherlyn who gave this to me during the

World Teachers' Day celebration)

***

had a haircut, and enjoyed being labeled as Dora all the way :)

went to Bahrain one time too many!

***

became a guest speaker in our school's Investiture Ceremony

***

went with my 4th year students who took the UPCAT in Bahrain. time flies!

***

successfully put up an event - my brainchild, Search for Mr. and Ms. Economics 2010!

***

tasted the undeniable yummyness of Cold Stone Creamery for the first time!

***

drove a motor for the first time!

***

i really had a lot of first's this year, alongside the ones i mentioned above are having to teach Journalism and Public Speaking, having to bake cookies for the first time, reporting for a weekly local news program, and being interviewed for a feature story in a magazine show.

i realized that the old adage holds true, we should really "count our blessings."

this year may have been thoroughly tough on you and me, but let us remember that the coin always has another side. without tears and heartaches, we wouldn't be able to enjoy the sweetness of hearty smiles and laughs.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

have a great year ahead!

***

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

fascinating!

2010-12-04T05:01:00.000-08:00

on December 4, 2009, i also had an entry that showed my fascination for clouds; and yes, the pictures was also taken on the way home from Cobra Amusement Park.

the first two pictures here were also taken as i stare at the sky on the way home from the same venue. i was really wondering how amazing God is that He can create such a tremendous beauty :) i really couldn't resist taking pictures!

these next two, however, were taken while we were inside the park. i guess the people who were with me already got deaf of hearing, "Ang ganda ng clouds!" (The clouds are beautiful/amazing/breathtaking!) from me.

this one reminds me of ocean waves.

SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST! in this picture, i was trying to capture the rainbow! it was really amazing to see one after a looooooooooong while. i guess i was a little successful in my attempt. look, it's there in the middle!

i'd like to take this chance to thank the people who were with me yesterday - Nina, Lei, Mara, Right, Jamille, Renzy, Randylle, and Ernison. I ENJOYED WITH YOU GUYS! =D

early Christmas gifts

2010-12-04T04:22:00.000-08:00

it's been a long time since i received a parcel. i must have forgotten how exciting it is to open one; it is a rare feeling of excitement that indeed, somebody took time to wrap it up and send it across the oceans.

i went to school this morning without the slightest idea that i'm going to take home a heavy parcel from the Philippines! when brother Kenneth delivered it in my room just before i was about to take my siesta, i knew i had to take it real slow! savour the moment, so they say. before i opened it, i instinctively asked for my pink bag which carries my camera! :)

before the 12nn dismissal in school earlier, my mother already hinted that i have a "Cory book" from ABS-CBN. thinking that it was the same as what i bought in the Philippines (Cory: An Intimate Portrait II), i didn't have that much enthusiasm to ask her to immediately show it to me.

TO MY SURPRISE:

so this was the heavy thing inside the wrappings! as far as i could tell, this was the most sosyal book i have ever received for Christmas so far. judging by the thickness, the glossy pages, and the significance of the content, it must be really expensive when sold in the market.

i enjoyed browsing its contents - the pictures, the captions, and the stories of the ordinary people. this is such a great gift!

so i haven't told you yet my reaction when i first saw this. i think my face was really video worthy. :)) when i got hold of the book, i opened my mouth as if screaming, but then no sound (at all!) came out. you must feel how it is like to admire Cory Aquino that much and then one day receiving a book all about her :)

and as if the book wasn't enough, here was another dream-come-true:

the patrol shirt i was whining about when i last visited Collezione in the Philippines! so here's the story: i saw this worn by the reporters in ABS-CBN when they covered the national elections last May. i knew then and there that i've got to have the same shirt! but to my dismay, the stores weren't offering this design anymore when i finally intended to buy. my titas in Batangas and Alabang already searched for this in their respective areas but alas! maybe it wasn't really for me.

now, i can say that things really come to us when we least expect them :)

to my ABS-CBN family, THANK YOU SO MUCH! you made my heart really grateful :) God bless :)

PS - though it may be really fun to receive gifts once in a while, let us not forget the real essence of Christmas - LOVING and GIVING. the old adage never fails! "It is better to give than to receive."

being happy for a change

2010-12-02T05:50:00.000-08:00

the last few hours of my life have been consumed in finishing another Nic Sparks wonder, The Rescue. and when i said that it's a wonder, i absolutely meant it.

oh no, it didn't have the tragic ending that i usually look for in his novels, but - SURPRISE! i wouldn't be whining about it this time.

why so?

i believe that the novel had enough heartaches on its own, that giving it a tragic ending would make it really dry and depressing altogether. the beginning of the novel already posed a very serious scenario that is enough to keep you turning the pages, whispering minute after minute, "what's really going to happen next?"

in this novel, Sparks yet again proved that he cannot be guessed at. not by me, at the least. i hunched at a totally different, incorrect ending, and i'm glad that it was the case. it only proves that after how many Sparks novel, i still haven't developed the skill, if there is any, to guess what's running in this literary genius' mind.

or maybe i'm really not supposed to.

the lives of the characters were intertwined in such an extraordinary way that made me very eager to know what's waiting for me at the end of the story.

the lead woman, Denise, has so much troubles in her life for the past four years or so. her problem would absorb you in such a manner that you'd bring yourself to ask, "however could she have done it?" i can identify with her sentiments because she was once a teacher. with the life that she was blessed with, i couldn't help but think what i would have done myself if i were in her shoes.

Denise was, nonetheless, strong and steadfast. i admire her determination to fight the struggles off her life. in the end, her efforts paid off, and i give her credit for never giving up. it may be an everyday expression that we hear from the most random people, but you see, even in novels, having the heart to finish the race gives heaps of golds in return.

the lead man, Taylor, was unbelievably a gentleman. after reading and blogging about the characters of The Choice, i couldn't believe that Sparks could create another character that would blow me away. though Taylor had his share of bad days, something in me understood the way he is. something in me trusted that his actions were backed up by a part of his life that snatched his heart. and right on, he got himself spilling the beans at the latter part of the novel, something that i think is perfect in keeping a reader's interest alive despite the revelations chapter after chapter.

his friends, Mitch and Melissa, though were only placed as support characters, contributed a lot in knitting the story as a whole. without their lives, there would be a huge void in the plot that nobody else could fill in. everything about the life of this couple spoke tons. their characters reminded me that no matter how small the role of a person is in our lives, their value should never be underestimated.

another character whom i can identify with is Taylor's mom, Judy. words weren't necessary for her to teach the people around her the lessons that she needed to get across. she exuded strength in a different way. and when that time came that she needed to let her heart out, she was silence-should-never-be-underestimated personified.

there is one very important character in the story that i choose not to reveal. i'll leave that to you to find out. with this character, you'll understand why this story is such a masterpiece.

the ending of this novel struck me as familiar, for i read Sparks' True Believer weeks before this one. they both have a miracle ending, if you know what i mean, but as i've mentioned earlier, this one was necessary, something that appeals to me as a-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel.

Sparks made me cry three times in this novel, and they were during those seemingly minute moments. if i'm not mistaken, those were the times when the dialogues were that short, but cuts-to-the heart at the same time.

The Rescue taught me to stay strong despite challenges, to trust despite questions, and love despite hurts.

i think that after Dear John, this one is my next favorite Sparks novel.

highly recommended. go read it.

* thank you Nina for lending me the book. i know you haven't read this yet! thank you for making me do the honors of peeling the plastic off the book. you made me feel it was mine! it's your turn to read it. :)

* i thank God for finally giving me the time off to read and relax after weeks and weeks of working like the word rest is not in the dictionary.

* have a great weekend everyone! hope you are enjoying your December so far.

despite myself

2010-11-25T20:11:00.000-08:00

sometimes i wonder, what would the world be like when i just lazily sit and stare blankly at the people who wants me to accomplish things?

i move without being told. i desire change. i innovate. i introduce new things. i work until every cell in my body gets tired, just so i am at peace that my work is accomplished. i'd rather do everything than be in utter uncertainty of the finality of the work.

but most of the time, no matter how hard i press on, the ending is like i've done nothing at all. the seemingly minute details will be blown up all of a sudden that the excitement i have during the preparation will be easily drowned by my unstoppable tears.

and now i can't stop thinking... could there still be a lower point than this?

i already feel that low. i can't find my self esteem, i can't stand up and say i can finish the mountains of work. i can't do anything!

if there is anybody there who has a sane mind right now, who can think straight, please do me a favor: enlighten me.

breaking the silence

2010-11-25T05:46:00.000-08:00

THIS is another time in my life when i feel that almost everything that's going on has already happened sometime before. i feel exhausted more than anything else; it's not the kind of exhaustion that could be taken away by a good night's sleep. believe me, after one, two, and three sleeps, here i am still wanting to rest all i can to at least ease the dizziness and tiredness the past weeks have brought.

if i could just scream. if i could just cry my eyes out. if i could just do something, ANYTHING, that could erase every heavy feeling i have inside, i'd gladly do it in an instant.

i've been missing a lot of things, a lot of people, because the world required me to focus myself to attend to huge things. sometime this week, i already found myself as alone as i can ever be, not because there is no one beside me, but because circumstances permitted such a feeling to creep in.

i'm actually more on the optimistic side of life, but i am not a hypocrite. i jump for joy when i am happy but i cry out loud when my heart breaks. this time, i want to go to a place where i could drift from the routinary pressures. i want to be that far that i could enjoy being deaf from the hurting, most downgrading words i could ever hear. i want to bring with me only the people who could say even the shortest words that could make my heart believe that no matter what the circumstances, i am loved and supported.

forgive the negative vibes. i just really need to breathe out the hardships of my life. i honestly feel like i am about to catch fever. no matter how long i rest, i still feel the same upon waking up. this is the time of my life where every negative word, no matter how subtle, can bring me down. i am in that state of vulnerability. so it would really help me to at least hear the most touching words i could ever hear.

if you know me personally and you're reading this, please do your best to make me smile.

this too shall pass.

ellipsis

2010-11-10T21:15:00.000-08:00

i already owe you almost two months' worth of tales of my whereabouts, and here i am about to break the silence in a state of melancholy.

excuse the ranting, but by far, i just couldn't see the end of this all. when this particular event ends, another will come, while events are lined on the wait list. week after week after week, i just couldn't find myself relaxing all i want without thinking of anything heavy in the world.

this is the cross of my profession. i wholeheartedly believe that i have to carry it to the end.

i need strength.

sanity.

focus.

...

i need God.

badly.

e 'delizioso

2010-09-16T09:42:00.001-07:00

this entry is inspired both by the love of writing and eating. :p

we went to Rashid Mall last Wednesday, still not minding to inhale the dry Saudi air because of malfunctioning car aircon. no matter, because we enjoyed a sumptuous dinner that brought our feet and tongues to Italy.

Kenneth was having a haircut and my parents fancied to look at this restaurant across the barber shop. it had no name whatsoever outside; it just boasts of a very structured exterior and a glass window that showed a salad buffet that is intended to lure passersby to come in.

i never knew it was an Italian restaurant until we entered.

i was first impressed by their menu which was a perfect definition of the word hardbound, because its cover was actually wood! it was heavy, yes, but it gave me the impression that it was no ordinary resto.

being the salad person that my mother is, she had this plateful which i have to get from the buffet. whenever we go to a place where there is a salad buffet, it is automatic that i am the one to go there. among my favorites are macaroni, corn, and potato. so whenever they are available, i stuff the plate with them.

the salad here goes with a super delectable bread that looks like potato heads to me. they are soft and salted just the way i like it. i had two, by the way :)

my order was a bowl of ravioli. since i was a TLE IV teacher last year, i introduced my students to french and italian terms that they would usually encounter in restaurants, and ravioli is one of them.

a ravioli is a pillowlike pasta with stuffings inside. i first ate ravioli years before, when my classmate celebrated in a high end restaurant in the Philippines. this is only my second time.

i enjoyed it though i didn't expect it to be drowned in so much white sauce. i actually ate the pasta in a separate plate. i'd rather have it presented with a less sauce, only to have the diner crave for more. too much of something is not good, right? :)

the flavors of their food are actually motto perfetto. kenneth ordered this chicken which was presented more like embutido in the Philippines; it looks too few for an order but it's actually heavy on the tummy. i wouldn't get tired of eating this one because its flavor is one of a kind. i am sure i haven't tasted this flavor of chicken before.

we were stuffed and ready to go until the Filipino waiter gave us a slice of cake. i never had the chance to confirm if this was included in the bill but so what. though i was already bursting of too much fullness, i tried a bite only to find out that i'm going to love it. it's not that sweet so it's just about perfect.

are we seeing ourselves going back here anytime soon? definitely! oh by the way i don't know where the picture of the pizza went, because i'm sure i took a picture of it! maybe it hid somewhere in my fone. anyway, we ordered a medium-sized one. my first bite was wow, because i did not imagine that it could be so soft! truly, it's not everyday that you get to eat in a restaurant where every food is that luscious.

and here i was apparently overjoyed! :D

*pics taken from my trusty fone. i just had to mention, because it's rare that i use it for documentation purposes :D

"happy ending?"

2010-09-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

the digital clock in my phone says it's already 2:30 AM and i'm fighting the urge to continue the novel. i said i needed to sleep, even though i have a good weekend to wake up on, i still needed to rest. i think it's the iced tea last night (story on a separate post) that made me stay up despite myself.

i was reading Nicholas Sparks' The Choice, (spoilers ahead!) and i was at the peak of the story just about when i started to read it around 12 this morning.

as a Nic Sparks novel that it was, i knew i had to ready myself for a stomach-wrenching twist and turn, and kind of regretted i didn't have a tissue box nearby. more than twice i found myself getting teary eyed and saying awwwwwww a notch softer than my speaking voice, only to prevent myself from drawing enigmatic attention from the house. but i'd love the folks to think that i'm really getting carried away by what i read. because i'm really that kind of person.

if you are a Nic Sparks reader, you've probably grown to guess your heart out for an ending every time you read his novels; you've probably wanted so long to get the satisfaction that even for once in your life, you've predicted a seemingly reach-for-the-skies ending.

much too unfortunate for me, i guessed the ending of this one very differently. i would have wanted it ended the way i thought (tragic and bloody heartbreaking), but i should have known better - i was holding a Nic Sparks novel, for goodness' sake. maybe Nic Sparks preferred it that this one gets a happy ending rather than his readers guessing what his ending might be.

i prefer the tragedy in novels. something about happily-ever-afters strike me as surreal, magical, this-wouldn't-happen-in-real-life. tragedies for me are given much thought to make the readers' clear eyesight turn into a blur but somehow back again.

i'm not saying that this novel didn't have a heart. on the contrary, it does have a lot of it. actually i found myself identifying with the lead woman, Gabby, having to follow rules all the time but wanting something else.

i also love Stephanie's character, the lead man's sister. she has this way of making people stop and think, and her humor led me to think that there's more to her than just that. i love how she talks to her brother and how their conversation towards the end made light shine brighter for her character. she's carefree but she's calculated - a rare combination in a person that i'd love to keep company too.

and Travis, the lead man? he's so ideal, and don't get me start on listing here what he did for his woman. let me just say that yes, i still believe that a man like him exists in the real world. for if Nicholas Sparks can create a character like that, then someone more thoughtful as God would have made his character possible too. :)

i was kind of disappointed with the way it turned out in the novel, only because it was a happy ending. but when i come to think of it, the novel really pushes its readers to be really hopeful, among others. the plot was an incredible display of hope in every turn. the characters' lives were blended in an impeccable plot that simply verifies what we're somehow tired of hearing, "With every breath comes hope."

for the record, this was the second Nic Sparks novel that failed to make me cry. if you've read this, then you'll know that i'm such a cry baby when it comes to his novels. the two words that you're reading as the title of this post are the words i uttered right after i put the novel to a close. but you know, i don't think Sparks became less of a writer because of that. this novel was still exceptional in more ways than one. if you'd ask me, this is way better than The Lucky One. :)

by the way i had this book in my possession way back February, during my 21st birthday, when my student Sarah spoiled me yet again of a Nic Sparks novel. i couldn't be any more thankful for the huge realizations the novel gave me...

like no matter how broken you are, God will find a way for you to be whole again.

PS - excited is an understatement when i learned of Sparks' upcoming novel!

"reward yourself"

2010-09-15T21:46:00.000-07:00

it's the first ever time we've traveled that far with our car's lovely air conditioning system malfunctioning. so yes, if you knew how piercing hot it was on the morning of September 11 here in Saudi Arabia, you'll know how it feels like.

my left pointing finger hurt so bad after i tried putting that towel in the window to my left. daddy suddenly pulled the button that closes the window, so just imagine what happened next.

it's just TOO BAD that i couldn't get rid of my abaya just yet, because we haven't get past the Saudi border yet. (hence the face. HAHA!) you see, we always have to travel by land to Bahrain because it's much cheaper, but we really have to endure the long lines in the Saudi and Bahrain immigration. take the definition of "endure" to the next hundred levels because as i have said, our beloved car has no cooling system.

speaking of loooooooooooong lines in the immigration. apparently these people who are going to Bahrain on weekends and on holidays are Saudi people. there's not too much freedom here unlike in Bahrain. there, women can drive cars, people can watch in cinemas, and women can flaunt whatever they want to wear because there are no strict rules. Saudi is very strict when it comes to tradition. sometimes, we still give it a hunch that this country will be free sometime in the future, or else they're gonna suffer of ailing economy. their people are going to avail of other country's services because they cannot get it here.

going back to our trip, after we freshened ourselves up in the comfort rooms of Bahrain City Centre where i could practically stay the whole day because of cleanliness, dad treat us to Pinkberry. i really wanted to eat there when i first saw it in the mall, but during that time we were rushing to go to the next mall destination. i think it's just about perfect that we ate here now. i got the small sized original yoghurt, with kiwi, strawberry, mango, and pineapple toppings (the same with mama's, only that she got the chocolate flavored yoghurt). daddy went for the green tea flavor, which mama did not like that much.

this is how the floor in Pinkberry looks like. the place was so cozy, i would like to transform it to my own bedroom. i just have to get a bed, though.

kenneth and i opted to watch Despicable Me after the Pinkberry treat. it was my first time to enter the cinema in Bahrain City Centre and boy, was i amazed! it looked like the cinema in Trinoma, only smaller. it also has coded rows and seats where you can choose where you want to sit. daddy was the one who chose seats for kenneth and me and he chose to put us to letter A - the backmost (and uppermost!) row! when kenneth and i entered the cinema, we were laughing so hard because there were NO people in sight! we were the only ones there for about 15 or so minutes. we were relieved when people started to come in.

so while we were waiting, i did a little research on the word to help me understand the movie better. super thanks to my trusty phone :)

i love the movie. it's a good way to unwind from all the seriousness that my profession brings. you should see it if you still haven't. :D

what kenneth and i had for lunch. we shared the plate of pasta and the KFC dinner meal. kenneth and i availed of this promo that KFC has: at the back of the movie ticket is a promo that we can buy the dinner meal for only BD 1.5 (SR 15) instead of its usual BD 2.0 (SR 20). it's a good treat, so we went for it. the only sad thing about that is we don't get to keep the ticket, because we have to surrender it at KFC. i still have mine though. :p

shopping to the max after lunch! because it's Eid holidays, some of the stores were on sale, and i'm so glad that my favorite H&M was one of those. :D

we transferred to Seef Mall where we had coffee in Seattle's best. mine's the iced latte for a change, because i always opt the hot one. i just couldn't imagine myself having to sip a coffee so hot after the long ride without the aircon.

about the only sane picture i have of this Bahrain trip. apparently enjoying the cold latte and the great soft seat. notice how the "reward yourself" poster suits the mood of this trip.

we also shopped in Seef. i was really, really tempted to buy books in Jashanmal, because they were on a promo - buy three books for the price of 2 (you get the cheapest one for free). there were a lot of Sophie Kinsella on the rack, along with John Grisham and Nicholas Sparks. what made me stop from buying is that i still have so many books here that i haven't read yet, and i think it'll just be a waste of money for now because i don't need to have new books just yet. i just hope that when we get back to Bahrain, i would have finished my books and they would still have that offer. :D

i think i enjoyed this trip better than the last one, because we had SO MUCH time to spend in this. we get to spend almost the whole day in Bahrain, unlike before that we just counted hours there. though we hated the heat and wished to ride on other cars on the way to Bahrain, i still want to thank our beloved car for helping us experience one of the best days of this holiday. <3

stories from the first of september

2010-09-02T22:45:00.001-07:00

I came to school on Wednesday finishing a Filipiniana ensemble with a feathery headpiece. i didn't notice its great effect it gave until i saw these pictures:

while i was doing my hair that morning, i realized how i seriously respect Venus Raj's wide range of talent. i was really amazed when i learned that she did her own makeup and hairdo in the finals night of Miss Universe 2010. i'm slowly being adept at doing my hair, but the make up part? i still have to deal with a lot =p

by the way, i already wore the feather number during my emceeing stint in the Independence Day celebration last June. :) i wore it in a different way, though :)

photo courtesy of Mr. Carlos Balane's Facebook account

***

-ber months signal Christmas. i couldn't be any happier for the early Christmas gifts! :D

our class was awarded the Cleanest Classroom by the Student Council for the Upper Elementary Level. i am so proud of my girls! :D

GREAT JOB, GIRLS!

since it's already September, i plan to add Christmas-y decorations to our classroom. i told you before that i always want to see something new in our room to avoid monotony.

i'm just so glad that we have the huge certificate for a start! :D

***

brother Kenneth bagged the third honors in the second year level. come to think of it, i scolded him so many times last quarter for spending most of his time in front of the laptop. :)) we are so proud of you, kiddo! :D

fun times two!

2010-09-02T21:39:00.000-07:00

they asked for it, i gave it to them :)

i just couldn't resist being with them for two consecutive nights.

***

1 September 2010

last week, i promised a bonding moment with them, that those who could come should be there. i personally wanted to take these girls out from the seemingly trite ways of the classroom. i wanted them to feel that it's healthy to let loose sometimes.

this photo was taken after our first ride, which is similar to that of a swing, only that it would make you feel that you're being thrown into the wilderness. :)) that night, i wanted to "capture" how we all looked like after each ride. i think the first ride was mild enough for us because look, we can pose, switch turns in holding the camera, and smile all we want.

***

this ride made the whole of dammam and khobar hear my voice. it was such a heart stopper. my students and i were just screaming our lungs out in the duration of the ride. before mounted the ride, i instructed them to let me sit in the middle, because i just can't stand being the one on the edge! this way, the thought that i will fall from the great height lessens a bit =p

***

there were times that we would just sit and take a break from all the screaming. we also took advantage by taking a lot of shots, again, the girls taking turn in holding the camera.

i only had to ride three, afraid of the fact that i might lose my voice. i really cannot afford to lose it, for you know the demand of my profession. i just wanted to share that while my students were there in the ride similar to that of Anchor's Away in Enchanted Kingdom, they were actually singing and occasionally shouting "GRADE SIX FAITH!"

i love these girls :D

***

2 September 2010

it was Jeanella's birthday celebration, so we went our way to be with her, even if it means riding those scream-all-you-can rides all over again.

more of my students came this night. i must say that some of them really have a braver heart because they can actually look at laugh at me when i was screaming their names in this ride. =))
they were actually mimicking how i shouted their names after we alighted the ride! we laughed our hearts out =))

***

this is actually a bunch of sweet and talented girls. each of them has a quality that makes them stand out in the crowd. through times like this, i am unearthing more of their hidden dreams and talents.

***

i will always treasure moments like these.

i really cannot wait to bond with all of them once again. :D

existence

2010-08-29T19:44:00.000-07:00

30 August 2010

dear you,

you may not know that i exist somewhere in this part of the world, but i wish to tell you somehow that you cross my mind every day.

it may be absurdly and pathetically true, but it's almost always like i'm staring at a billboard, dreaming that your lifeless smile will come to life.

for the past days, my life has been utterly oxymoronic that i enjoy living in fantasy; the boring white walls seem to be splashed with myriad of dancing colors because for some reason, i just can't stop smiling.

i hope you have a great day today.

me

temporarily away from home

2010-08-12T01:45:00.000-07:00

it's been a while since i wrote a travelogue, not because i don't have the time to write one, but because i don't really go around traveling that much.

you see, that's the setback here in saudi arabia. i can only go to and fro school. sometimes i get to spend time in other people's houses, but during the past two months it's just too rare.

two thursdays ago, family and i spent a little time to veer away from the stress each of our daily lives bring, and dad made his way to arrange the multiple visas of each of us so that we could go to Bahrain.

travel essentials: cozy pillow, feel good music, meaningful book

we only travel by land to bahrain because it's a lot cheaper, but we really have to suffer in the heavy traffic in the immigration. we spent more or less three hours waiting; good thing i brought my ipod (second hand from my brother Ryan) and the book i borrowed from my student, Three Weeks with My Brother by Nicholas Sparks.

incidentally, the book is also about travels so i enjoyed myself reading about the places they Nicholas and his brother visited, and the food, natives, and so much more that they encountered. i really appreciate the book's successful attempts at good humor, because it made the reading easier and more interesting.

we arrived in the bahrain heat, good thing we're allowed strut the streets without our abayas. it's a huge relief. our first stop was in a Filipino restaurant famous for delectable pork dishes. i guess the family really missed eating pork. we had adobo (i think kenneth had this all to himself), sinigang, and lechong kawali, much to our delight.

in a trip to Bahrain, it is a must that we go to Bahrain City Centre. we just fell in love with the mall the moment we first stepped in it, so we make it a point to visit whenever we are in Bahrain.

with good lighting and freedom to take pictures wherever, we just take our chances. whenever we are in Bahrain, it's just like we are in the Philippines. we enjoy the freedom of being able to do whatever, without fearing that some police will pass by to stop us.

Bahrain offers a lot of good titles which cannot be found in Jarir Bookstores here in Saudi Arabia. when new titles become available in the market, i think Bahrain releases earlier than here.

in this trip, what i took home was the red book of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid. (yes, i got addicted to it!) the series is also available here in Saudi Arabia, but when i checked Jarir the day of my July salary, this red one was out of stock.

what made this purchase a lot better was that it is a lot cheaper than the one they sell here in Saudi. a pat on the back for me for a very good find! :)

apparently, dad has a relative in Bahrain which he just recently found out through... guess what? Facebook! we met up with her in Bahrain, we had coffee and cheesecake, which i both love indulging in, and which i only get to indulge, once in a blue moon.

i guess this was the day that i knew that H&M is already a favorite. the violet top that i'm actually wearing is a sale from H&M i bought last December.

it's good that stores were still on sale when we went there, because i happen to see a really nice skirt on the 2.0 BD sale rack (20 SR, around 240 PhP). notice the plastic that i am holding. H&M rocks! :)

kenneth and i wished we could stay overnight in Bahrain and go strolling in the malls again for the next day, but you know, we weren't just prepared for that. the clothes that we only had were the ones that we were wearing so we just went home planning for our next trip. we had multiple visas anyway. :)

we arrived home around 1:30 in the morning, feeling so tired from the trip, but absolutely thankful for the stress-free and fun-filled night.

see you soon, Bahrain!

hollywood star in the making

2010-08-11T23:43:00.001-07:00

long overdue post.

***

i first saw her perform in last year's independence day celebration where she joined a singing contest. what first caught my eye was the way she carried that blue and pink filipiniana gown that i thought looked a lot like candy. believe me, i was really blown away when she started hitting high notes.

wow, this young lady could really sing, i thought to myself.

***

little did i know that she was going to be my student.

i remember the day when they were doing something in my class, then i went to the back part of their classroom where a bulletin board reported their class profile. when i read her name, i immediately recognized that she was the girl who sang in the contest.

"Where is Alissa?" i asked.

she raised her hand and i looked to her direction before i said, "galing galing!"

who would even know that i just praised a future Hollywood star?

***

fast forward to July 2010.

Alissa went to the United States to compete for the World Championships of Performing Arts.

as a surprise and as a way to show our support, we teachers and her classmates wrote on personalized sheets of paper. she really shed tears when we handed it to her!

i asked her to bring our gift to the United States so that she will feel our love and support even without our physical presence. i reminded her to NOT forget to take pictures of her with it.

and she gave in to my request! :D

photo courtesy of Alissa Andrea Liangco's Facebook account

at least i can proudly say that my handwriting already managed to step there :)

***

it was only this morning that i saw the pictures of her performance that she uploaded in facebook.

i "liked" all of her pictures on stage! i am really impressed with this young lady's stage presence. she can really wow audiences just by her confidence; but wait until she sings.

UNDENIABLE STAR QUALITY!

photo courtesy of Alissa Andrea Liangco's Facebook account

with her unquestionable talent, it's no surprise that she bagged one silver medal and two bronze medals from the competition. we were all so proud of such a great achievement!

photo courtesy of Alissa Andrea Liangco's Facebook account

it's always a singer's dream to get the gold. but for a talent, confidence, and faith like hers, gold is never too impossible to reach. i believe that her stint in WCOPA is just another stepping stone for her to reach greater things.

my message to her when she first released the news to us:

lissa, it's always the attitude that matters. :D ako, i really admire your fighting spirit to pursue your dreams in such a young age. alam kong malayo ang mararating mo, bata ka pa, you still have a lot of time to go for your dreams! all out support pa rin kami sayo and even though we weren't there to watch you, alam namin na you did great! can't wait to see you! *HUGS*

i still stick to what i told you before that you're a future hollywood star. just wait for it, it will come in God's time :D

***

look what she got for me from Hollywood! <3 how thoughtful.

parent talk

2010-08-11T22:16:00.000-07:00

i sure have never experienced how it is to be a parent, but i'm glad i'm surrounded with people whom i can get a lot of inspiration from.

yesterday i got to converse with a mother and father of one of my students, and i must say that the talk was anything but expected. the agenda was supposed to be a decision that i made that i thought they would greatly contest. on the contrary, the talk went actually smooth and turned out to be absolutely full of wisdom.

they cleared that they weren't there to question my decision. the reason why they talked to me was to make me understand that they were greatly concerned about their child's performance that might be affected by the decision.

i was really open during the conversation. i spoke when they asked me to. my ears and my heart were open to whatever they would want to say.

the talk went on until such time that somewhere in the conversation, the parents began praising me for the manner in which i teach this subject in their child's class. they said that they are giving a blunt "personal recommendation" for me (take note: in front of the authorities in the school!) for making the subject surprisingly interesting and easy to understand.

the father related that during his time, Economics was a very boring subject; this was why he really appreciates the effort that i offer in making the subject close to the heart of the students as possible.

they even told me they appreciate the handwritten handouts that i painstakingly do so that their child can better identify with the subject. i was really, really touched when the mother even told me a story wherein she saw her son studying again for my subject where she commented, "Economics na naman? wala ka na bang ibang subject?"

my tears were close to falling when they expressed that i was really applying my UP education in the school. in that point of the conversation, little did they know that they were really boosting the confidence i was so close to losing the night before.

through this entry, i want to testify that God surely know what He's doing. on tuesday night, i felt so crushed because of all the pressures and stress that the academe can bring. i think i really needed to feel that low so that i would really appreciate the bliss that His blessings are going to cause.

to the parents, if you'll get to read this by any chance, THANK YOU SO MUCH for the kind words. thank you for making yourselves as God's instruments to let me know that i am loved. the lessons that you shared with me will be treasured until such time that i will be the one to rear my own children.

welcome, 2nd quarter!

2010-07-31T05:24:00.000-07:00

my grade 6 students and i used our time in Elective today to enhance our classroom.

last week, while they were so busy taking their quarterly exams, i was just there sitting or standing and staring blankly at what was once i thought a very lively room. i thought that we needed to put something new to it so as to make it more inviting to the eyes and to the heart of both students and teachers inside.

i thought they really enjoyed the time because we were like in a wet market shouting for tapes, scissors... you get the picture. from time to time they were asking me for instructions and there i was releasing orders as well.

i really wanted to bond with these girls because my subject with them is only scheduled thrice a week. being the rigid writing that the subject is, i maximize those times to discuss and/or practice them. so it's safe to say that today has been our first bonding moment as a class! :D

this is our unfinished "friendship corner." i asked my students to bring pictures of them with their classmates. some are just going to bring theirs tomorrow. i also asked them to print quotations on friendship because i want to see this orange cartolina filled with a lot of stuff! :D

i had to mount a chair to be able to get this picture. i was targeting the newly-posted Grade 6-Faith profile (there, on the background!) and when they saw me about to take a picture, they all crammed to the space in front! it was nice seeing them actually having fun with each other.

oh, by the way, i am included in that profile. i used my college grad pic and my students wanted me to give them a copy of that picture! :))

this is the list of young leaders that i need to train. from time to time, i will give each of them responsibilities to handle so that their leadership skills will be honed even more.

***

both studying and teaching can be really exhausting when taken very seriously every passing day. both students and teachers really need to let ourselves loose from time to time.

this is why as much as possible, i'm making our classroom very "homey" to my students so that they will not get this heavy feeling that is "oh-my-goodness-i'm-here-again-and-i-need-to-face-my-books-for-hours."

i want them to feel that the space is actually theirs, and i want them to squeeze inspiration from, literally, the walls of our classroom.

this activity also helped me a lot. i find it fun whenever there's an opportunity for me to use my creativity. it's also one way for me to somehow rethink and refocus, so that i will not lose sight of my intentions in teaching.

***

"I believe that this is a perfect place for me to influence the younger generation to move and take part in solving the problems of the world."
(Arana, 2010)

back again

2010-07-22T11:38:00.000-07:00

reposted from my other blog which, by the way, i decided to delete today. :)
originally posted 2 September 2009

***

one of my tweets last night reads:

if i could just split myself to three or four. SO MUCH to do! but hey, i realized that to do those things, i have to KEEP MYSELF INTACT.

who ever saw me cry and break down in school yesterday? it was the very first time that i stopped, thought, and felt the weight of everything on my shoulders.

i silently walked my way to the hidden part of the admin office, that part concealed with the dividers. yes, that one by the photocopying machines. i carefully dabbed a folded tissue paper on the corners of my eyes. i found it very hard to limit myself from crying my exhaustion out. i felt like i wanted to explode.

i released a lot of silent sighs, careful not to let anyone hear my heartache. i never really wanted to draw attention. i just wanted to breathe the pain out.

for the first time in living memory, i felt like i was on the verge of giving up one of my many responsibilities. for a moment there i thought i couldn't go on. i remember one of my co-teachers asking me, "ang hirap maging neophyte noh, ria?" to which i replied with a laugh, "ma'am, sobra."

i could've easily given up on myself and my profession. but after i cried, i sat still in my mom's chair in the office and thought. i tried my best not to talk to anybody. i tried to contemplate. at one point i had this feeling of wanting to go home, rush to my room, and cry until all the tears are gone...but the impossibility of the thought pushed me even more to just be silent.

that's how i deal with stress and frustration.

during those still moments i get to think about everything.

for a moment there i thought i wanted to split myself so that i could attend at once to all the responsibilities i have. but as i said, i could never do anything if i'm split and scattered. i have to muster all the remaining strength in me so that i would able to excellently do everything that is assigned to me.

when i give up, what will happen to my students? i made an unwritten vow that i will never, ever leave my students hanging.

i had the courage to share my weakness, because i believe that pulling myself back together is the more important part. after i cried, i found myself again. after the broken heart and nearly-torn mind, i was brought by reason to an old but useful adage - giving up is not an option.

and so i end this blog with (another tweet) a reminder to myself...from myself.

reason over emotion. ria, it should always be like that. REASON OVER EMOTION.

uncertainty

2010-07-22T11:36:00.000-07:00

reposted from my other blog which, by the way, i decided to delete today. :)
originally posted 15 August 2009

***

i really don't know how to start this blog entry. i am certain i have a lot of stories to tell today. my day started and ended pretty well, but i'm positive i want to talk more about what happened in between.

i encountered a total change of schedule today. to tell you the truth, i wasn't prepared for it, because my body got used to attending to the old schedule. i ate lunch rather early this day, not because of the schedule per se, but i think because of stress.

good thing my eating alleviated the stress. served its purpose well.

i've been telling this one too many times in my facebook account: i miss my high school students. sure, it's been only a day since i missed holding a class with them, but believe me, it really feels extraordinarily different. i feel like something's missing in my day.

my facebook account has been flooded with i miss you messages from my students since the night commenced. i don't know what feeling would exactly describe what i have every time i see their messages coming up. i'm torn. i want to attend classes with them but i just can't.

don't get me wrong, though. I LOVE ENGLISH. I LOVE TEACHING ENGLISH. english is my life for four college years. english is my heartbeat, my favorite, my forte. but leaving the high school students for english? no, not at this moment.

i already made plans for my second quarter in my technology and livelihood education. i never expected that i will not be there for my students when this exciting quarter begins. i never thought that this would happen, more so how long this will last. my students are asking me when i will come back, the only answer i can give them for now is the answer that i know. and i'm afraid that answer is not definite either.

i realized that what i am doing right now is an utmost sacrifice. the details of that sacrifice, i'd rather keep to myself. i'm already at peace that God and I know what that is.

this is what adjustments are all about, right? at first it will be shaky but soon enough everything's going to be stable.

i am already falling in love with my elementary students most especially with the grade 1 girls. i know that it will also be heartbreaking when that time comes that i'll have to leave them.

that feeling is more or less just words until that time really comes.

we are what we choose

2010-07-21T05:30:00.000-07:00

today was a normal, stressful day.

count the tests that i had to conduct without any chance of sitting; my feet felt wretched in having to endure the weakening high heels.

count the test papers that i have to check during the weekend, not to mention to organize the grades of the students in six sections that i handle, so that i would just have to input the quarterly exam grades right after.

count the so abrupt break times - those what seemed like seconds that i have to spend sitting.

but on the contrary, though i feel a pinch of tiredness right now, i feel very lighthearted... that's because i choose to see the day in a completely different light.

the tests were administered to measure what my students learned from my discussions. though i occasionally get mad of them of not exerting that much effort, i thank God because they prepared for today and they were able to answer.

the duration of the testing time without me having the chance to sit is completely fine. i thank God because i can stand.

the papers to check are indeed towering, but that's more than okay. as a teacher, the order of the universe dictates that i really have to check papers. i thank God because i have a job but more importantly, i thank Him because i am in a noble profession.

the little amount of break times can be really draining, but i take them as gifts in disguise. for if break times are times for myself, then that only means God gives me more opportunities to be with other people. i thank Him because He wants me to spend more time to inspire and touch people's lives.

for the past days, i've been evaluating myself and the circumstances around me. i may not know for sure, but as of now, i can say that my heart is inclined to helping shape young minds. we teachers also have our share of bad days; my "bad days" already went that far that i'm slowly losing my passion. i'm not ashamed to admit it because i believe that admitting weaknesses is a blatant courage. and i consider that as a take-off point for me to be launched by God to greater heights.

i realized that there can never be more fulfilling than time spent really well. let's refuse that our day be ruined by nonsensical things. there are more important things that we should focus our hearts and minds on. just open your eyes and don't be blinded by pessimism.

today was a normal, stressful day?

scratch that!

TODAY IS A COMPLETELY AMAZING DAY!

and everyday will always be like that, if we just have the right attitude to face it.

***

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—
think about such things."
Philippians 4:8