drafts no more

i mentioned once before that you'd probably not believe if i tell you that i have tons of drafts here. they would have been screaming out loud for utter jealousy of those posts that get instant publishing within minutes worth of writing and proofreading.

moreover, if these drafts could talk, they would tell me that i just wasted precious time in pouring my heart out in meticulously crafting those words.

this morning i browsed through them and wondered why indeed, i haven't published them; maybe in the middle of writing i suddenly lost my train of thoughts that i decided to just save them for some future editing.

so that these drafts would not hate me forever, i will publish them right before 2010 ends; i know that this will serve its rightful purpose.

note: the dates when i wrote the drafts are indicated. post titles are nonexistent unless otherwise stated. posts are copied and pasted from the original draft, no edits whatsoever.

***

March 30 2010

purpose driven

now why spend a good summer in a classroom when i can just bathe myself in the sun, have fun in the malls, or just savor the sweetness of life in the Philippines that the desert can't bring?

i remember one of my students asking me at the onset of the school year, "mam, gusto nyo po ba talagang maging teacher?" to which i answered on the negative. i never really wished to become a teacher, but i assure you that i find purpose in what i am doing. in other words, i already have enjoyed teaching from the very first day that i stepped in a class.

this summer i am going to spend a lot of good time in school; i will finally be getting my education units. i know that i've been musing about this for quite some time now, and in few weeks' time, it's all going to happen.

being an educator is pointblank noble. it is one of the most humbling professions that one can be in.

***

June 01 2010

[untitled]

it's like...

being deprived of the last drop of water.

seeing the light at the end of a long tunnel but never actually getting there.

running a race and tripping inches before the finish line and never be able to touch it.

***

August 01 2010

[untitled]

i sometimes wish that there are subjects in elementary and high school such as Discipline, Respect, Obedience, Friendship, and Honesty.

on second thought, those subjects will be hardcore burden to those who will be teaching them. for one, these things cannot be taught the way teachers teach grammar rules, formulas to solutions, and techniques to memorize. these are taught in a different manner altogether.

unlike the subjects we have in school, the things i mentioned above are not "subjects" that can be read in textbooks. sure, there are self-help books but there are no rigid rules on how to be disciplined, respectful, and the like.

furthermore, who is best qualified to teach those things? everyone makes mistakes. everyone commits something wrong that somehow "disqualifies" them from being the "proper" teacher of those things.

and so i ask myself, how do i really teach those subjects?

are they supposed to be taught, or are the students supposed to learn them in a different way?

the hardest subjects to teach are the ones not written in books. oftentimes, students just see that we teachers want them to get correct answers, disregarding the values that they get in the process.

for example, in memorizing a lot of difficult terms. they just think that it's a burden, but alongside the memorizing is a good way to discipline themselves. how much time are they going to spend in reviewing so as to familiarize themselves with all of the terms given?

some math problems are indeed difficult to solve. most of the time i hear students whining about math not being part of their future. but see, math trains us to solve real-life problems. math trains us to push ourselves to find the proper solution to a problem. it's like every math problem is teaching us, "how far are you willing to go?"

teachers giving students assignments and readings at home for reinforcement do not only intend the students to learn more about the lesson. in hindsight, they are developing the values of industry, respect and honesty. homeworks should be done at home, and not in school. this tests the students' priorities. what has respect got to do with this? i told my students that not doing their assignments is equivalent to disrespect, because they chose not to follow their teacher's orders.

***

August 24 2010

bursting

this will be a very blunt entry.

Venus Raj's winning 4th runner up in the Miss Universe 2010 made me all proud of her. period.

no ifs, no buts, no should haves, no could have beens.

i don't really know how to feel whenever i see the words "major major" on the status of so many people on the internet. i don't know how to feel whenever they look down on the person just because she did not manage to somehow PLEASE their standard.

when can we ever be satisfied in life?

some even tell that they "expect" Venus to win the title so that "somehow" their spirits will be lifted. with their words, they are implying that Venus even dampened their spirits. well, ladies and gentlemen, external motivation should always rank second. internal motivation should go first. so haters, why don't you try to change your outlook in life?

i graduated with a bachelor's degree in Communication Arts Major in Speech Communication. i've been on the spot with too many assigned speeches, and i've seen and heard great speeches too. BUT it is never a guarantee that a good speaker will ALWAYS produce a good speech.

are there no considerations? shouldn't we give credit to the beauty queen, given that she had very humble beginnings? furthermore, her friend Melody Gersbach just passed away. what part of these situations don't we understand? do we always have to judge people only by what we see, without even knowing what might have caused their action?

why not offer MEANINGFUL and CONSTRUCTIVE suggestions instead?

i, as a speech comm teacher, learned a lot from what happened. i knew that i should double my effort in making the students understand how important it is to prepare before a speech.

the moment that we turn our destructive comments into healthy actions, then and only then will we be productive.

***

September 09 2010

[untitled]

i just wanted to share a piece of my heart with you, whether i personally know you or not, whether you are crumbling in the cold or basking in the hot afternoon sun, wherever you are in the world...

EMBRACE HAPPINESS.

there's nothing like letting your heart smile, making your mind loosen up, and just lying your head while looking at the stars.

***

September 23 2010

hair talk

i decided to chop off my long, measly hair and sport the old school style bangs. :) i didn't want to have bangs for the longest time, the last being when i was in the fifth grade? but when i saw Kris Aquino carrying the look, i decided to give it a try. i guess i'm the living proof of my lesson in Economics on how the Filipinos' pattern of consumption (following the steps of the people they idolize)

***

i suddenly felt like i've shown you some sort of deleted scenes from a DVD. notice how some posts are left hanging; if that's the case then i was right in saying that i lost my train of thoughts somewhere there. but i hope you enjoyed reading even if the posts weren't in their "proper" seasons anymore.

Noël heureux!

2010 on rewind

amid tears and heartaches...

come to think of it...

2010 HAS BEEN A GREAT YEAR!

the following are just SOME of the MANY reasons why 2010 is one memorable year.

i...

celebrated my 21st birthday :)

***

attended (and emceed) my 3rd prom!

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attended the Commencement Exercises of my very own Preparatory students!

(and emceed the succeeding ceremony with very, very bad cough)

***

finally got my college diploma!

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was able to finally step foot in Eastwood! :D

***

completed my 9 Education units

... and gained new friends in the process

***

had a reunion with my high school classmates!

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traveled all the way to Pampanga!

***

enjoyed the comforts of our refurbished house

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decorated my own classroom!

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emceed on the Filipino community's Independence Day celebration :)

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have been addicted to Diary of a Wimpy Kid

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was able to indulge in Pinkberry!

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went out with my girls in a relaxing atmosphere on Gianne's birthday

***

tasted this yummy chocolate called Guylian for the first time!

(thanks to my student, Cherlyn who gave this to me during the

World Teachers' Day celebration)

***

had a haircut, and enjoyed being labeled as Dora all the way :)

went to Bahrain one time too many!

***

became a guest speaker in our school's Investiture Ceremony

***

went with my 4th year students who took the UPCAT in Bahrain. time flies!

***

successfully put up an event - my brainchild, Search for Mr. and Ms. Economics 2010!

***

tasted the undeniable yummyness of Cold Stone Creamery for the first time!

***

drove a motor for the first time!

***

i really had a lot of first's this year, alongside the ones i mentioned above are having to teach Journalism and Public Speaking, having to bake cookies for the first time, reporting for a weekly local news program, and being interviewed for a feature story in a magazine show.

i realized that the old adage holds true, we should really "count our blessings."

this year may have been thoroughly tough on you and me, but let us remember that the coin always has another side. without tears and heartaches, we wouldn't be able to enjoy the sweetness of hearty smiles and laughs.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

have a great year ahead!

***

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

fascinating!

on December 4, 2009, i also had an entry that showed my fascination for clouds; and yes, the pictures was also taken on the way home from Cobra Amusement Park.

the first two pictures here were also taken as i stare at the sky on the way home from the same venue. i was really wondering how amazing God is that He can create such a tremendous beauty :) i really couldn't resist taking pictures!

these next two, however, were taken while we were inside the park. i guess the people who were with me already got deaf of hearing, "Ang ganda ng clouds!" (The clouds are beautiful/amazing/breathtaking!) from me.

this one reminds me of ocean waves.

SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST! in this picture, i was trying to capture the rainbow! it was really amazing to see one after a looooooooooong while. i guess i was a little successful in my attempt. look, it's there in the middle!

i'd like to take this chance to thank the people who were with me yesterday - Nina, Lei, Mara, Right, Jamille, Renzy, Randylle, and Ernison. I ENJOYED WITH YOU GUYS! =D

early Christmas gifts

it's been a long time since i received a parcel. i must have forgotten how exciting it is to open one; it is a rare feeling of excitement that indeed, somebody took time to wrap it up and send it across the oceans.

i went to school this morning without the slightest idea that i'm going to take home a heavy parcel from the Philippines! when brother Kenneth delivered it in my room just before i was about to take my siesta, i knew i had to take it real slow! savour the moment, so they say. before i opened it, i instinctively asked for my pink bag which carries my camera! :)

before the 12nn dismissal in school earlier, my mother already hinted that i have a "Cory book" from ABS-CBN. thinking that it was the same as what i bought in the Philippines (Cory: An Intimate Portrait II), i didn't have that much enthusiasm to ask her to immediately show it to me.

TO MY SURPRISE:

so this was the heavy thing inside the wrappings! as far as i could tell, this was the most sosyal book i have ever received for Christmas so far. judging by the thickness, the glossy pages, and the significance of the content, it must be really expensive when sold in the market.

i enjoyed browsing its contents - the pictures, the captions, and the stories of the ordinary people. this is such a great gift!

so i haven't told you yet my reaction when i first saw this. i think my face was really video worthy. :)) when i got hold of the book, i opened my mouth as if screaming, but then no sound (at all!) came out. you must feel how it is like to admire Cory Aquino that much and then one day receiving a book all about her :)

and as if the book wasn't enough, here was another dream-come-true:

the patrol shirt i was whining about when i last visited Collezione in the Philippines! so here's the story: i saw this worn by the reporters in ABS-CBN when they covered the national elections last May. i knew then and there that i've got to have the same shirt! but to my dismay, the stores weren't offering this design anymore when i finally intended to buy. my titas in Batangas and Alabang already searched for this in their respective areas but alas! maybe it wasn't really for me.

now, i can say that things really come to us when we least expect them :)

to my ABS-CBN family, THANK YOU SO MUCH! you made my heart really grateful :) God bless :)

PS - though it may be really fun to receive gifts once in a while, let us not forget the real essence of Christmas - LOVING and GIVING. the old adage never fails! "It is better to give than to receive."

being happy for a change

the last few hours of my life have been consumed in finishing another Nic Sparks wonder, The Rescue. and when i said that it's a wonder, i absolutely meant it.

oh no, it didn't have the tragic ending that i usually look for in his novels, but - SURPRISE! i wouldn't be whining about it this time.

why so?

i believe that the novel had enough heartaches on its own, that giving it a tragic ending would make it really dry and depressing altogether. the beginning of the novel already posed a very serious scenario that is enough to keep you turning the pages, whispering minute after minute, "what's really going to happen next?"

in this novel, Sparks yet again proved that he cannot be guessed at. not by me, at the least. i hunched at a totally different, incorrect ending, and i'm glad that it was the case. it only proves that after how many Sparks novel, i still haven't developed the skill, if there is any, to guess what's running in this literary genius' mind.

or maybe i'm really not supposed to.

the lives of the characters were intertwined in such an extraordinary way that made me very eager to know what's waiting for me at the end of the story.

the lead woman, Denise, has so much troubles in her life for the past four years or so. her problem would absorb you in such a manner that you'd bring yourself to ask, "however could she have done it?" i can identify with her sentiments because she was once a teacher. with the life that she was blessed with, i couldn't help but think what i would have done myself if i were in her shoes.

Denise was, nonetheless, strong and steadfast. i admire her determination to fight the struggles off her life. in the end, her efforts paid off, and i give her credit for never giving up. it may be an everyday expression that we hear from the most random people, but you see, even in novels, having the heart to finish the race gives heaps of golds in return.

the lead man, Taylor, was unbelievably a gentleman. after reading and blogging about the characters of The Choice, i couldn't believe that Sparks could create another character that would blow me away. though Taylor had his share of bad days, something in me understood the way he is. something in me trusted that his actions were backed up by a part of his life that snatched his heart. and right on, he got himself spilling the beans at the latter part of the novel, something that i think is perfect in keeping a reader's interest alive despite the revelations chapter after chapter.

his friends, Mitch and Melissa, though were only placed as support characters, contributed a lot in knitting the story as a whole. without their lives, there would be a huge void in the plot that nobody else could fill in. everything about the life of this couple spoke tons. their characters reminded me that no matter how small the role of a person is in our lives, their value should never be underestimated.

another character whom i can identify with is Taylor's mom, Judy. words weren't necessary for her to teach the people around her the lessons that she needed to get across. she exuded strength in a different way. and when that time came that she needed to let her heart out, she was silence-should-never-be-underestimated personified.

there is one very important character in the story that i choose not to reveal. i'll leave that to you to find out. with this character, you'll understand why this story is such a masterpiece.

the ending of this novel struck me as familiar, for i read Sparks' True Believer weeks before this one. they both have a miracle ending, if you know what i mean, but as i've mentioned earlier, this one was necessary, something that appeals to me as a-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel.

Sparks made me cry three times in this novel, and they were during those seemingly minute moments. if i'm not mistaken, those were the times when the dialogues were that short, but cuts-to-the heart at the same time.

The Rescue taught me to stay strong despite challenges, to trust despite questions, and love despite hurts.

i think that after Dear John, this one is my next favorite Sparks novel.

highly recommended. go read it.

PS

* thank you Nina for lending me the book. i know you haven't read this yet! thank you for making me do the honors of peeling the plastic off the book. you made me feel it was mine! it's your turn to read it. :)

* i thank God for finally giving me the time off to read and relax after weeks and weeks of working like the word rest is not in the dictionary.

* have a great weekend everyone! hope you are enjoying your December so far.